Hello (Possible TW)

Hi. Call me Daydream or Flower. My pronouns are she/her, and I am a teen. I love fall, warm drinks like tea and coffee, and I have a cat. I have depression, suffer from severe panic attacks, and am in a situation where I am uncomfortable talking to my parents and am alone for 8 hours a day, due to the pandemic. I have only self-harmed a few times but never have reached blood. I used scissors, knives, and even a nail clipper to cut myself. It's a long and tiring process, which ends with barely a scratch, but it is something I have common urges to do. Often I am saved by how tired I am. I have tried to make myself vomit multiple times, without success. I know that I can very easily escalate this into an issue. This really isn't me. No one would think I would be doing this, and I have assured many people I do not self-harm. Which makes it worse. I hope I can find support here :)