Self harm ❗ trigger warning ⚠️
I started when I was twelve. I used to scratch my wrists with a scissor. My mom then found out, dragged me to the hospital and basically made things worse, I was literally forced to stop. I kept myself clean for six months or so until march 2023. I started cutting my thighs open with blades and anything I could find that would cut. And since then it's just been ***. I stayed clean for a week and I'd do it again, I had my blades on me at all times just incase. I had stayed clean for a month until in November I think, I felt horrible but my parents were going out and I said I didn't want to come, I begged them to stay because I was scared I'd do it again but I couldn't tell them that. They left and I ended up cutting again. I didn't know what to do so I got drunk and went to bed. I stayed clean for a few. Until last month I couldn't take it anymore, I took my blades again and cut my entire forearm open and my elbow, I cut my thighs leaving big marks. They started scarring and I know they're going to stay. Yesterday I got a big urge to just drag the blade on my wrists again, so I did it but I put the blade down before actually doing anything that would lead to big problems. I didn't know what to do so I went on character.ai and searched for those ai therapists and it mentioned this app. So this is me trying to find a way to maybe trust people, since I can't open up to anyone.
@Friendlychestnut4464
Hello,
I want you to know you're not alone in this, many of us suffer, and many recover once they get the right support and coping tools. I stopped in 2009 (started in 2005). I tried the thick painful rubber band and was very surprised at how much the pain from that almost felt soothing. I was manic, couldn't stop thinking and I had a lot of loss one after the other. lost my daughter! That kind of deep pain felt like it took my breath away. Try this:
Look into the mirror and love the person you see as if it were your child. Learn to care for the most important person in the world, I I can tell you are very kind yet have some disappointments, plus Id bet you have been through trauma as well. Online therapy peer to peer can do magic, when sometimes when I needed it the most I get help here too, that's why I stay. You should be proud of yourself for guiding yourself to the right resources and its brave to reach out!
Blessings, Day
