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from ice to red markers - why some self harm alternatives should be retired

jennysunrise8 April 9th, 2021

hi ... I just wanted to share this article with everyone here about the dangers of self harm substitutes and how using them is counterproductive and actually increases the urge to self harm https://bit.ly/3mziDe6

The problem with holding ice or snapping a rubber band on your wrist is that these are not alternatives - they are not distracting a person during a moment of crisis — but rather, they are merely substitutes. It’s the same self-destructive mindset and behavior in a different wrapper.

“We view substitute behaviors as self-injury,” says Michelle Seliner, MSW, LCSW and current chief operating officer of the self-injury recovery program, S.A.F.E. Alternatives. “Snapping a rubber band on your arm leaves a mark and it’s painful. It’s self-injury.”

Why These Self-Injury Substitutes are Popular

Despite evidence that all of these unhelpful suggestions to combat self-injury are counterproductive, their recommendation persists, even among therapists. This includes some of the best, most effective therapists I’ve encountered over the years.

This may be thanks to the proliferation of these substitute behaviors on the internet. Though safe havens such as S.A.F.E. Alternatives or the Self Injury Foundation work to educate people otherwise, the old methods are drowning out safer distractions. The public knowledge of how to help those who self-injure is built largely on repeating the same coping skills in article after article.

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The true purpose of a self-injury alternative creates a distraction long enough to find other ways to express feelings, or to simply let difficult emotions pass without inflicting harm.

“An alternative is really a distraction from the impulse so that the person can further process what they’re thinking, what they’re feeling, challenging their negative thoughts,” says Seliner. “It’s just creating a window of opportunity so they can think through what other choices and options they have [and] helping them to be able to sit with that uncomfortable feeling, seeing that they can manage it without being self-destructive.”

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TheFisherKing April 9th, 2021

@jennysunrise8 This is a wonderful, informative post. Someone I know who frequently harms often uses rubber bands but snaps them so hard and so often that is eventually draws blood and leaves welts. In the long run, the very thing that was supposed to prevent harming had actually become another way TO harm. Distractions are a much safer way to deal with the urges. Finding something to keep busy until the moment passes and you can express what you're feeling is definitely better. Anyone who has self harmed in the past knows and understands that it will take some work and there will be relapses. For those trying to recover, please don't be hard on yourself if you do relapse. It happens to everyone. You can always start fresh and try again the next day.

1 reply
jennysunrise8 OP April 10th, 2021

@TheFisherKing i love that you wrote that! i think that needs to be told to people a lot more and every time alternatives are given to people - that it might not be helpful ... every person is different and if it doesnt work just try something else until you find what works for you

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APalmela April 14th, 2021

While I do agree with what you said, I think that using the ice method or rubber band can be useful if used in a short period of time... Think of it as a nicotine addiction, using the rubber band cans be seen as reducing the amount of cigarettes instead of going cold Turkey... Everyone is different and even though these methods aren’t a long term solution they might help people with big urges to scale back enough for the distraction method to work. Also having a slower progress might lead to a more solid recovery giving time to find alternatives and a reducing the pressure to be “perfect” all of a sudden. So if you can “skip” the ice and rubber band - great and you should totally do it! But it you need a physical stimulus for the time being, a rubber band is certainly better than the alternative, and you can keep on your path to eventually not need it either.