Temptation
Im going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment and every little thing is making me want to harm again. So many times at work today Ive picked up the work knife and thought about it. Ive even come up with a way of doing it at home without my partner realising. If any of you have any advice to help distract me or anything that would be a great help because I cant cope with this need much longer without giving into it.
Hi there @straightforwardLemon1654
First, I'd like to say you're very brave for reaching out. It is often a hard thing to do, and I'm so proud of you for doing it.
What main emotion do you think is triggering your current urges? Is it sadness for instance? Anger? A sense of numbness? If you can locate it, it would make it easier to figure out more effective ways of releasing that emotion. Here is a link to a post that sets out distraction techniques according to the mood. You may also find helpful to use some processing tools. Processing tools are things you can do to help you slow down the thoughts, process them and then act upon them calmly: for instance, journaling, drawing how you feel internally, meditation and talking to someone/venting. Are any of those doable for you?
I hope you will find this helpful... You are not alone and please do not hesitate to reach out for support, we are here for you <3
I made a promise to my partner that I would try to recover as my New Years resolution and she that he wouldnt leave me but everything around me is making me want to harm again. I dont know how to tell him that I want to as I dont want him to leave me. What should I do?
Hi @KattyB, how are you feeling today?
I am really proud of you for deciding to try and recover. This is a huge step 
I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with urges, but I also know that this is normal and it is part of the recovery process, and so are relapses most of time. Be compassionate and patient. Your partner can perhaps help you in dealing with such urges. Sometimes, just having someone we can talk to help us to release our emotions or at least to figure out what they are and what they are trying to say to us. How does it feel for you the idea of having your partner as an ally in your recovery?
It may take some time to find alternatives to SH that work for us, but it is absolutely possible. Here you find a few links to posts where alternatives have been previously discussed.
If you would like to discuss more in detail how you are feeling, or if there is anything we could do to support you, do not hesitate to reach out again. We are here for you.
