Reasons Why We Self-Harm [Potential Trigger Warning?]

Hey everyone! It's so good to see you and glad to have you around here! There are many reasons someone could self-harm, as we are all different. Not everyone will have the same reason, and moreover, our reasons may change. We grow and change and develop, and so do our reasons- they don't have to stay static at all times. In saying that, here are only some of the reasons we may self-harm or things that impact our self-harming behaviours:

Pain: Whether that be feeling emotional pain and emotions that we would rather not feel and deal with, feeling too much, or feeling nothing at all. Physical pain is usually much easier for us to understand and have a firm grasp on, and our emotional pain may be confusing to us. Hence, we self-harm in a physical sense, for a sense of control and greater understanding of ourselves, the situation or the emotions we feel.

Dissociation: We may lose touch with ourselves (depersonalisation) or we may lose touch with our surroundings (derealisation), and we may self-harm without even knowing we are doing that. It can be quite confronting and upsetting once we realise what we have done, but you are not alone in doing this. However, we may also dissociate while we are self-harming, and self-harming may be a way for us to forget the stressors that have caused us to self-harm in that moment.

Emotional release: We may self-harm to release our emotions. As an example, we may be really upset at someone, and instead of communicating our emotions to them, we may harm ourselves instead. As we know, self-harm is a coping mechanism, and this is one way we may cope.

Punishment: We may self-harm as a way to punish ourselves. We may feel we deserve to be hurt or punished, for various personal reasons. We may use self-harm as a way to cope and avoid dealing with the underlying reasons of why we feel this way towards ourselves.

Communicate pain to others: We may feel we cannot communicate how we feel to others, or we do not want to burden someone by opening up to them about how we feel, so we may hurt ourselves instead and express our emotions that way. We may be indirectly asking for help- letting others see how much we are hurting through our self-harm, and allowing them to initiate the conversation may help us feel less of a burden, or make us feel like we are loved and are being cared for.

Sense of control: We may use self-harm to prove to ourselves that we can control an aspect of our lives or of ourselves. We may feel that nothing is in our control, or nothing in a certain situation is within our control, but we can control our self-harm. We can control the frequency, the duration, the pain we feel. We have a sense of control, but as some of us know, eventually, we may not be the one who is in control of the self-harm.

Psychological: There are a plethora of other reasons as to why we self-harm. We may self-harm because we have had so many thoughts about it and feel that we have to do it, we may self-harm to prove to ourselves or others that we can do it etc.

Self-medication: We may use self-harm to give us an endorphin release and boost our emotions for a split second. Self-harm may give us a rush, a boost of endorphins and adrenalin, and hence self-harm makes us feel better. However, we must remember that this is only temporary.

I would also like to add that hormonal fluctuations can also be a factor. Hormonal imbalances can affect and influence our mood and emotions, negatively or positively. As a result, we may resort to self-harm to cope with our changing emotions or our thoughts.

Self-harm is a secondary reaction to a situation or an emotion. It is a way to cope with how we feel and our thoughts. If you are feeling upset or triggered by this post, please browse for a listener to talk through your emotions and thoughts or call your countrys emergency number if you feel you may be in danger.

I hope that this post has been helpful, and please add more reasons if you can think of them! There are so many other reasons, and all of them are important.

Take care of yourselves and remember that we are here for you if you need it. xx