TW

hi, i’m new here and i just wanted to share. i started self-harm when i was 11 years old in 6th grade. at first, a friend did it to me (with my consent) and i just thought it was normal to do and it didn’t mean anything. i started doing it to myself randomly, not even to cope, just to do it and i would show it to people, idk why i did that. i stopped doing it for a while and relapsed. in the summer after 8th grade year, i had a bf who would tell me things such as if i wasn’t clean he wouldn’t be clean either. there were a lot of other things he said to me but i don’t want to share. when i was dating him (we’re broken up now), we took a picture together and it was bad angle and he said i looked fat in it. i relapsed because of that and ever since then, i haven’t been able to stay clean for more than a week. i’ve tried things to distract me (breathing, coloring, painting, snapping a rubber band, holding ice) and those distractions haven’t really seemed to help, and i haven’t really been trying to stay clean.