Slowly realizing/ admitting this not just a “bad habit”

TW: SH

Hello, I know that title may sound like it’s not “real” SH, but please believe me, it is. It is closely related to stress & anxiety. Even when it hurts I have a hard time stopping. I am not sure how to talk about this without talking about the method. I don’t think I have fully admitted to myself its SH, but everything points to that. I am feeling ashamed, embarrassed, scared, and lost. I a hoping to find coping methods & support here.