Real pain

People self harm for a variety of reasons. I started to sh because I needed my pain to feel real. I’ve never been abused or severely bullied but when your parents go from “happy together” to fighting almost everyday you start to feel horrible. Waking up to their fighting and blaming yourself cuz well why would they have married if it wasn’t for you? I needed all the mental pain and sadness to feel real . When I learn that people would hurt themselves I was confused but on a particularly bad day I grabbed a pencil and began to scratch my arm, it felt good. So I snuck around, dull knives to my first blade my pain was finally real. And to this day whenever I’m sad or I’m mentally hurt I want to make it real.