Lately I have been tending to respond to frustration by looking up ways to damage my health
I know this is not good or healthy and that worries me but something about looking up ways to hurt my health (and even trying some of them) seems to relieve the pressure and frustration I guess by making me think I am getting power somehow or getting back at the frustration by sort of saying if this is how the world is treating me today then I will say f** you to that world and that frustration by hurting myself. I don’t know if that makes sense to anyone but it makes sense to me. I am just about to look up harmful foods on the internet right now. I have just been dealing with so much bullshit and frustration especially recently and I am just sick of it!! If it won’t leave me, then should I try to leave this world?
i guess I am supposed to take this as a sign that I should go ahead and look for ways to hurt myself since obviously nobody cares.
I sent a follow up to you all pointing out that nobody seemed to care bc nobody answered. You all censored and deleted it. I am really in bad mental shape right now, ie extremely stressed and your censoring my follow up inquiry did not help AT ALL! Why are you all being so uncaring and unhelpful about this. How would you like it if I just went and hurt myself, or worse, bc all you have led me to believe no one cared. Then what if that attempt to hurt myself actually wound up killing me? You know, at this point, I wouldn’t mind but I bet you all would feel pretty guilty for being so cold and uncaring by simply ignoring these pleas for friendship and support. I guess I just have found out how 7 cups REALLY works!! I will make sure to let people know that you all don’t care about anyone and that trying to seek caring or compassion here is like going to a quarry full of rocks and trying to get compassion there. I will definitely let people know that this is a waste of time, right after I sign out of this service permanently so that I never make the mistake of trusting you all ever again!! Once I am signed out permanently you all will NEVER know if I survived this depressed mood or if I succumbed to self harm and maybe even died because of it. I am really really disappointed with the cold insensitive response my quest for compassion here has yielded!