Self hate
I’ve been called ugly my entire life since I was a child. It’s hard to believe when people say that I look attractive or something because I feel like they’re just either being nice, or don’t want to make me feel bad. I try to improve myself but I always end up hating how I look
@Imakenosound Me too. I'm in my teenage years and sometimes I don't like how I look. I've been trying to change how I look for a few months now, and I would say even though I'm not at the point that I truly want to be at yet, I've made progress.
What I've learned throughout these few months is that I don't have to compare myself with others. I may want to look prettier but I'm not trying to achieve the exact image that society deems as "pretty" since it's not my style. And of course I'm not trying to look like another "pretty" person. And secondly, I keep reminding myself that I'm trying to look prettier so that I can feel happier about myself. I'm not trying to please others.
So set some goals for yourself so you can become the version of yourself that you are going to like most. Once you do that, other peoples' comments won't matter to you :)
Hiya @Imakenosound welcome to the community, I'm glad you're reaching out here for support.
Things we hear as a child, specially if they are more recurring in nature, stick like a glue, and when it's something so negative about you, it can be seriously impacting your self-esteem, even if there's instances where some would be nicer about it.
You'll always be more than how you look.
"Ugly" I feel, is a mindset, reflecting the ugliness all these people had in their mindset, who had no shame to refer to a child as ugly. Lowest of the low, if someone asks me.
It'll always speak more for them, than it does about you.
It's not easy to shake off these feelings, and there's no magic solution to reverse the self hate or turn it into self love. But here's the thing, the self-hate you feel, isn't "self" constructed if you try reflecting on it. You had nothing to do with it, the people around you reflected their mindset on a child, and the child was forced to believe it as their "truth".
Child you didn't know, child you didn't have the power but adult you, current you does, it's not easy to unlearn the negativity we've been fed but it's not impossible either. One step at a time, when you're at a point where you can acknowledge what is wrong, and willing to put in the work to re-learn "self" and start to become more accepting and compassionate towards yourself.
You deserve people who acknowledge you and accept you and value you for who you are, rather than what you look like, but most importantly, you deserve to be one of these "people" first tooo!
Sending you much strength and love!💛