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  3. Safety Discussion - Boundaries during Member-Listener Chats

Safety Discussion - Boundaries during Member-Listener Chats
March 9th
.

Hi everyone! 😊


Last month, I hosted room discussions on both adult and teen sides on this topic - boundaries in member-listener chats. 


As both those discussions each lasted an hour, and each was held only once in total last month, I know many of you might have missed those live discussions.


No need to worry though 😀, as today, I am sharing a forum version of this discussion for those who could not join in the live discussions.


Let us start with this question:


Q.1) What is the meaning of “boundary”?


As per Merriam-Webster dictionary, boundary means something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent.


So, on 7 Cups, we can define boundary as personal limits each member or listener put in place on 7 Cups to protect themselves for the some of the following reasons:


  • Safety:

It includes avoiding offsite contact, confidentiality and triangulation in 1-1 chats, group chats, forums, and in our profiles.

  • Busy schedule:

Every listener or member is just a person on the other side of the screen, with a busy life. So, they cannot be available 24/7 on 7 Cups.

  • Burnout:

Many listeners, wishing to help and support people on here, take on too many chat requests, or too many roles and responsibilities, which can lead to burnout.


Q.2) What limitations/boundaries are there between a member and a listener?


Below are a few examples of boundaries in a member-listener chat. This list is not exhaustive, and you can add your own boundaries in the replies below!


  • Time

    • Duration of chat

    • Times you’re available for listening

  • Confidentiality

    • Not sharing member details outside of 1-1 chat

    • Not mentioning usernames of other members and listeners

  • No offsite contact

Not sharing full name, home address, email address, phone number, social media contacts etc.

  • Personal reasons

    • Triggers

    • Lack of experience with the chat topic


Q.3) What are some red flags in member/listener chats that may suggest boundaries have been compromised?


  • Offsite contact

Examples include asking for phone number, social media contacts, etc.

  • Inappropriate chat

  • Triggering conversation

  • Other party is not respecting your boundaries, even when you’ve clearly stated these boundaries repeatedly.


Q.4) What are some ways we can reinforce boundaries?


I will be leaving this question to you to share your ways of setting and reinforcing boundaries in 1-1 chats!


If you have spotted a profile that needs to be flagged, feel free to report them here


Join our Safety Discussions taglist here to receive notifications whenever a new discussion is posted!

4
March 9th
.

Taglist:
lovingRainbows2088 CalmRosebud MydogLiz8

Kristynsmama March 10th
.

@AuRewolf

boundaries still continue to be my biggest struggle as a listener.  But it also continues to be my biggest area of growth too.  Boundaries help me here on Cups, but they have also helped me in my personal life too.  I appreciate this post and any info on boundaries.

Heather225 March 11th
.

@AuRewolf

thank you for offering both rooms and forums participation opportunities! i think they each are very important components and the way you weave them together is a big boost of visibility. go safety!!

Heather225 March 11th
.

it's good you highlighted the time factor. engaging in conversations can be taxing (worth it but taxing), so it's crucial to decide on a specific duration as a listener and politely excuse yourself when that time limit is reached. in general members are pretty considerate of that if they know in advance. it's just all about frank communication.

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