For All Victims of Bullying ❤
Bullying is aggressive hurtful behaviour against someone, involving a complete imbalance of power.
It is terrifying.
It makes victims crumble, and cry and collapse. Its even debilitating. Its completely despicable, and no one deserves it. Not a single person.
It kills nearly 13 million kids each year. It is serious.
How to identify bullying?
✑ It is when someone or a group of people TARGET you and make you feel bad about yourself or hurt.
✑ It is NOT just physical.
✑ Other types of bullying:
◊ Verbal bullying such as name-calling and homophobic remarks
◊ Psychological/Covet bullying such as rumour spreading, social aggression and unkind mimicry
◊ Cyber bullying such as imitating someone online/deliberate mocking texts etc.
✑ ANYONE can bully, and ANYONE can be bullied.
✑ "The bully is bigger" is a myth. Physical size is inconsequential when it comes to bullying. ANYONE can bully, its highly psychological and the bully doesnt need to be physically intimidating/bigger
10 Things to Remember When Youre Being Bullied
➊ REGAIN CONTROL, by recognising that you ARE being bullied.
➋ BREAK THE SILENCE. Dont lock it all up, talk about it with someone, let people know youre being bullied. Bullies thrive off control~ take that away.
➌ DONT ISOLATE yourself, as much as you want to and even if its the natural response of most. Surround yourself with your friends, people you trust, people whove got your back.
➍ DONT REACT OR RETALIATE. This is important, bullies do their thang to get a reaction, to see you rise to the occasion, and thrive off the power. Dont show that they're affecting you.
➎ GET HELP. You dont have to do it alone, tell an adult~ Its not tattling. Its telling, its standing up for yourself.
If not someone you know, then a helpline (hotline 1 / hotline 2)
However strong you are as a person, you are not immune to mental health issues. Excessive stress and pent up anger from bullying can lead to depression etc. So, there is NOTHING wrong with seeking help.
➏ LET IT GO. Bottling up anger, frustration and guilt will come back to bite you in the long run. Scream out your lungs, Punch a pillow, throw your stuff around (err safely.) or tear up some paper. Whichever way works for you <3
➐ Find some ZEN ~ write, draw, sing or talk to the birds (err, I mean walk into the forest and chill. But go right ahead if youre Snow White xD)
➑ DOCUMENT everything. Make a log of all bullying activity, where, when why… 5W1H it ;) It will come in handy later.
➒ Understand that allegations, accusations and insults do not reflect who you are. If anything, they reflect the bullys own misgivings and insecurities. YOU ARE NOT WHO THEY SAY YOU ARE.
➓ Remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE. It is a common, and widespread problem. Millions like you are suffering under it. You dont deserve this. No one does.
If your friend/loved one is being bullied
☂ BREAK THE SILENCE ~ ask how theyre doing with the bullying, give them a space to talk.
☂ RESPECT THEIR SPACE. Understand that they might not want to talk about it sometimes.
☂ Accompany your friend as they travel, if you can. Stick with them, show them they are not alone.
☂ Remind them they do not deserve it and it is nothing to be ashamed of.
☂ TELL THEM THEY ARE AWESOME AND WORTH IT. Counter the bullys words with your own <3
If you have been bullied, share with us how you got through it ❤ If youre being bullied, how do you cope with it? ❤ If your friend is being bullied, how do you help? ❤
Remember, you are not alone, and we are always here for you. ❤
This week is Anti-Bullying Week, and 7cups has many coolio activities for it. Check em out here! :D
Tagging humans (cos I can. and cos I want to hear what you guys have to say ^-^ ) ~ @Alicattt @MelAllyouneedislove @amazingrea @NewRomantic677 @YayyySphere @MidniteAngel
Tag anyone else you think might be interested in le new sub-forum too! <3
As somebody who's been bullied before, twinni let me just say i love this. ❤
@NewRomantic677 So sorry to hear this.
Amazing thread, @221Skye!
And very well pointed out all those important things someone needs to know about bullying!
@cristiana33 I agree with what your saying.
You gotta stop with the blowing my mind thing *gasp* I am not sure if I can handle it anymore! The perfectness of this post (THE LITTLE NUMBER BULLET POINTS, GAHH) is overwhelming for lesser beings. <3 Skye, like always this is so amazing and I am really proud of you for doing it! I agree with everything you said wholeheartedly and thank you for doing this my lovely <3
@amazingrea
GAHH YES THE LITTLE BULLET POINTS. I'm highly amused that that's what you pointed out xD Thanksies Rea, I'm glad you agree. <3
@221Skye Your brilliant writing was implied silly :P
@amazingrea YYEAHH THE NUMBER BULLET POINTS WERE IMPRESSIVE xD
Hey Skye!
Awesome thread! This is a topic that has a lot to do with me and hits home very close. I was bullied for the most part of my childhood. When I was a kid I was very shy and when I entered primary school (In a different school), it was hard. The teacher took a special liking in hating me and abused many of us. I had only one friend and that was the quietest year of my life. My mother found out and the next year I changed school again.
It was worse, way worse. There I spent the worse 4 years of my life. I swear it was a jungle. Where you had to fight to survive and not be eaten by others stronger. I became someone I didn't want to be because of that. When I reached the last year I passed there I was someone else completely different from whom I was when I entered. I didn't like it. I was violent and I had become one of them. They used to ignore me, pull my hair, call me names, make me cry, make my headache and mostly, make it seem like I deserved it and make me take the blame with the adults... Leading up to sexual abuse.
I was never one to keep quiet, I guess that I learned the rules of the jungle and throw the punch back as hard...
The last two years of my primary school were weird. Third school, public school. The other two were private and full of rich guys so this was definitely a change. Every school I started I did it with the aim of being someone else, better. I have built myself over and over again trying to be better, for others. Change my attitude and the way I acted. (There is some things you can't change though, as I have always been the nerd). It was better. I made good friends finally, and although we don't talk anymore now that we are in secondary school... I still appreciate them even though they were very different from me, that didn't mean we couldn't be friends.
I found my space when I entered secondary school. I made the best of friends and I am proud of them. I'm not one to trust friends easily.
I could never get rid of that attitude though. I made an irreversible change after being bullied for so many years, and although that's not something that's happening to me right now the effects of it still affect me. They destroyed me and crushed me again and again until I almost couldn't be back on my feet again.
That being said (I feel like I'm rambling a little...). I'm here to beg you not to stay quiet. That's the worse you can do. I never talked about the sexual abuse they were inflicting me. My mom pressed me until I told her, after crying and crying because I had been punished by the headmaster for running in the stairs. What was I running from? I was running from him. From them. I didn't want my mom to tell anyone about it but she did it anyway. Because I said, "If I say something, it'll be worse." My mother started crying after that not believing the words that came out of my mouth.
It's not okay. We can not allow them to treat us like this. Never. By any circumstance. It's not okay and we all have to do something about it. Speak it out, as loud as you can and as many times needed till you make it stop. There won't be other way to stop it if no one else finds out. Believe me I tried, I thought I could take care of it myself but the truth is that I couldn't.
I believe in you.
@MelAllyouneedislove
Mel, thank you for sharing this. Thinking back to my own experiences I know it was not easy to share this, but I really think it will have helped someone, heck, it helped me be reassured that I did not tattle that, I chose myself, I chose my safety, my mental health, and I chose my happiness.
I also want to add something: for me, the bullying did not get better, my school was terrible and the bullying took place on a school bus (mainly, the really bad stuff, at least) and so it did not stop. And that sucked. But, my mum knew, and my dad knew, and they pulled me out of school, and I went to a new school.
That school made me happier than I had been in 5ish years, it changed my life to be perfectly honest.
So, to add to Mel's perfect post: People say that leaving a school because of bullying is running from your problems and lets them win, but you know that? I would rather run and be called a wimp than to still have an eating disorder and depression. To hate myself and to hate my body with every speck of energy inside my body. The words and the things they did to me have stayed with me, maybe they always will, but, THEY haven't. I am gone, out of that situation and they can't break me if I am not there to be broken. Also, just for the record, you aren't a wimp, not at all. You were brave enough to admit and to accept that what was happening wasn't right or healthy and wasn't going to take you anywhere good, anytime soon. I wish I had told someone the first week it started, not 3+ years after. 3 years is too long, I implore you not to wait.
Sorry I ramble a lot <3 :P
@amazingrea
YOU GUYS RAMBLE VERY WELL. I would just like to say~ yes, there is NO shame in asking for help and even lesser shame in leaving the situation and le scene of the crime. It is not cowardly to leave an impending volcanic eruption, nor a beach about to be hit by a tsunami. It's smart and right to do. <3
"I wish I had told someone the first week it started, not 3+ years after. 3 years is too long, I implore you not to wait." This. THIS. Do give a voice to what's happening, you can get out faster. <3
@221Skye OMG YES. No one would ever tell a Tsunami victim: "you should have stayed, it is unhealthy to run from problems." THEY WOULD TELL THEM TO GET THE HECKKITY OUT OF THEIR AND SEND ARMY TROOPS TO HELP. *just saying*
Also, thankies for liking that, I was worried it was too much <3
Gahh. I noticed my #EnoMove as it was posting *buries into hole" @NewRomantic677 come disguise it for me love? <3
@MelAllyouneedislove
Firstly, Mel thank you thank you thank you SO much for typing that. It made me cry, and I could relate so clearly to what you were saying. I am so sorry you went through that, it is the worst thing and it feels completely crushing. It's hard to get up from that fall. You are so immensely strong. I didn't know I could admire you more than I already do, but apparently I can <3
"I'm here to beg you not to stay quiet. That's the worse you can do." This is something I agree with a 578%. Or more. My maths sucks. My point is: Speak up. It's the first step to making things better, and yes as many times as it takes to be heard.
@MelAllyouneedislove reading this gave the feels. You're soo soo strong ❤
@Mel Thanks for sharing your story with us.
I am sure it will help a lot of people.
Hey @221Skye, sorry for the fashionably late reply 
Hahaha but it was a really fantastic post and I love it! 
It's a topic close to my heart and if only I can read all of these in that stage of my life! You're really awesome for sharing these tips on how the victim should react and how people are able to help them. It does provide them with support and makes them feel less alone. 
(And those number points look awesome 
)
@221Skye, see even atmosphere agrees! ;) :P
There is a lot of bullying that goes on in my school. People come to our school to talk to us but it doesn't make a difference. What are ways to really STOP bullying?
@calmApricot8242 I see I'm rather late, and for that, I'm so sorry ♥ Hmm, by stop, do you mean stop a current bullying experience or the entirety of bullying in the world?
For the former, I strongly believe the best way is to speak up. Silence isn't the answer. There is NOTHING wrong with voicing what's happening. It's tough, can be dangerous, and should be done in a sensitive way to the right person but it is still one of the most amazing ways. I'd like to refer you to Mel's post above!
For the latter, well, this is infinitely harder, we can't just stop all of bullying unfortunately as it's too numerous. But what we CAN do is spread love and perpetuate a culture of kindness. It's a small step but the more people do it, the less people will be resorting to bullying.
Hope some part of that made any sort of sense! PM me if you'd like to talk ♥
@calmApricot8242 So sorry to hear this.
Thank you so much for the awesome post. These are definitely things to keep in mind when you encounter the bullying problem in your life and often times people get too caught up with the situation they forgot how to handle it.
Sincerely,
Sacchan
@sacchan You're super duper welcome! I'm glad you think it can be helpful under those uber stressful times ♥
@sacchan This is very true.
Thanks for pointing this out.
To be honest I'm from those who bullies others
@Abir Heya ♥ That must be tough to deal with in its own way, and hopefully the people here and the post has given you some insight into the victim's end of things. I would just like to refer you to a truly wonderful post by my twinnie for anyone who's been a bully. Hope you enjoy it, lovely! ♥
Unfortunately, I took longer than I should have to reply but hope that sufficed anyway
IIt sounds like this feed is mostly for kids. But I have to say you can be bullied as an adult and it's just as disempowering.
@turquoiseYard6069
Hmm, that's true yard! Since I am a teen, I suppose I unconsciously drifted towards that age group, but being bullied as an adult must definitely feel just as bad, and completely rid us of self esteem. Perhaps, it'd be a good idea to write a similar post aimed at adults. Thanks so much for sharing that ♥
hi
@221Skye
@turquoiseYard6069 Yes you can be bullied as an adult as well.
Thanks for raising this point with us.
It doesn't matter ,they don't know you personally ,play wth sarcasm 😊
