Supporting or reporting
Domestic abuse is against the law in most countries, I guess I want to understand if as a listener I'm being asked to support a victim or a perpetrator in getting professional support or using my active listening skills ? I think listeners can only do so much and when it comes to such sensitive and dangerous things , it maybe best to let the police or experts manage this ...
@Dailydaydreama as a victim of DV.. and a lot of it, i must say i would definitely support the victims in the case.. to at least get help or find resources to help them. I was in a very abusive relationship for the last 5 years.. still very fresh from the break. He was arrested for his 3rd DV against me on the 2nd of this month. And for years i wanted to leave, knowing i deserved better and knowing my children did as well.. knowing it would never improve or change.. I was raised in a home where DV happened almost every night as well... So to see myself in the same positon my mother was once in years ago, before both my parents were killed in an accident.. i knew i needed to get help. But the fear was there, and the lack of courage. Whenever i would think i could leave and had it in me, he'd find a way to bring me back. Me, regretting the choice, always did.. until i finally had a few different people remind me just how strong of a woman i am, and helped me to believe in myself and that it would all be for the better.. So, support is exactly what you need to be giving them.. and if the situation seems too violent or if they are talking of a violent active situation, law should always be informed. But i'd also let the person know that those are the steps that need to be taken. if someone is reaching out to you in a DV situation, its because they WANT the help, but are too afraid of doing it themselves because they've been reminded daily how everything is their fault and that they are deserving of the abuse.. not sure if i answered your question at all here.. but, my opionion..
@kadeebug123 hey I'm sorry that your life has been impacted by this situation, I understand that supporting people to find their voice , strength and a safe place is fantastic! Here on 7 cups I feel we are limited as listeners to what we can do to be honest ! I think that to support survivors is definitely something a listener on here can manage 😇 I hope that you are in a safe place and that you have taken your life back ❤️ sending you good thoughts always , I hope that my post hasn't triggered you in anyway . Take care always ... Deb
@Dailydaydreama Your post has not triggered any emotions at all, other than the fact that i wish no man woman or child ever had to go through any kind of abuse. I have, or am in the process, of taking my life back. it has been 1 week today since i spoken to my abuser.. its a different feeling.. usually he would have came begging to give it another try.. i belive whole heartedly that he knows i am finished, that i can't do it anymore. Hes taken a lot of my life from me, right down to 2 of my children which i am in the process of fighting for, yet again. But he has taken a lot more from me as well.. But i made a promise to my kids, that i wouldn't put up with it anymore and was going to give them a better life. It just took a lot of reassurance from other people that it was possible and i was deserving of it.. i understand your frustrations on the position you are in. It is difficult to only be able to listen, and when you know it's a bad situation not being able to do anything more than offer the support. How would you, anyways, go about reporting abuse, if the person you're speaking with does not give enough personal information to be able to call law enforcement to report it?
@kadeebug123 hey here on 7 cups we can't report anything our job is to listen and is to not give advice, I think that it's safer for listeners to connect people at risk to a professional that has the right training to keep everyone safe ❤️ I'd be happy as a listener to support anyone who needs it while dealing with this type of situation 😇 I'm glad that you have had support to help you find your voice ! Wishing you all the best re your kids , thanks for your feedback ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Take care . Deb
@Dailydaydreama
As per rules of 7cups, listeners are unable to provide support to anyone who is actively abusing a person or animals (plus it wold be considered illegal activity, which is also not supported by 7cups). I think there are some definite grey areas when it comes to this rule but, if someone is not making an honest effort to seek help for their violent behavior, it's best to allow the authorities to intervene.
As far as victims of domestic abuse, it's best to always ask if they are safe and able to chat before the beginning of the chat. Also be sure to provide some domestic abuse help links, in case they need or want them.
Thank you for your service to 7cups! 