Is it ever possible to be too attached with someone you met online?
Hi, fellow listeners.
I'm a bit bothered so I could use some advice from all of you.
I have this one member whom of course I tried to listen to and help him realize things. It came out great, I mean, he's very open and we both addressed whatever was bothering him. And me, as a listener, did my job to follow up on how he is or if he's doing fine and stuff. From there, we started to talk more regularly.
Now, we're still talking on a different platform. What bothers me is that I feel kind of like him. You know what I mean. But I know it would not go into something serious. I just thought if it is really ever possible to like or to be attached with someone you don't know personally, someone you met online. I have an issue, I am afraid to be too close to anyone because I'm married to the fact that everyone will eventually leave one day. I tend to push people away. So there.
Your suggestions, violent reactions, advices and stuff will be appreciated.
Thank you and have a nice day you all!
Hi, yes it is possible to be attracted to someone you have never met. The tough thing about the internet is that you never really know who you are dealing with. You as a listener got to see him at a very vulnerable point and most likely there is some counter transference going on. He has peaked something inside of you, some need. It is very tough to not feel some emotional attachment to the people we listen to. IMHO, moving your contact to another platform was probably not a good idea. It is a great thing you reached out. You may want to talk to a mentor to figure out what inside of you got triggered.
Yes. I met someone on another site and we talked all the time. I would log on just to see if he was online (turns out he was doing the same). After a while I felt the need to quit that site but he and I stayed in touch. Now we talk even more than before. We've never seen each other's faces, don't know each other's names, but he is a true friend. I often wonder if there could be more if we met in person...
I've been attached to multiple people online before. I understand. i don't know any advice as I'm still stuck with this but if I do in the future, I'll let you know.
Yes, very much so. But you must realise your boundaries. If you do cross them, no one can stop you, but you put yourself at risk if you do it. I am glad to hear you care so much about your members as well!
I no longer get attached to people I meet online. It all ends up as one big lie.
Well, ethically - this proposes a problem. This member has come to you at their most vulnerable and you aided them in their recovery process - which is a very intimate space to be welcomed into. Also, you have mentioned that you are married. I'm sure I don't have to elaborate on why, ethically, this also strikes as a conflict.
It's fine to appreciate the company we find here - but we all have a vital responsibility to establish and keep boundaries ... so that platforms like this (7 Cups) may remain non-judgmental, safe spaces to unwind for our members and guests.
Thank you for sharing and being honest.
Much love,
- Jaali
Hey everyone who's participated in this lovely thread, and given your opinions :) In case there were any misconceptions, I wanted to make sure that everyone is aware that sharing social media or personal contact details on this site is completely forbidden - that's between listeners, between members and listeners, and between members. Compromising your personal safety is not something that is endorsed here, and listeners receive permanent bans for giving or asking for such information from members.
Taking a conversation offsite with a member goes directly against our values and guidelines, and is not acceptable under any circumstances.