my listener was banned ;_;'

@kittypants

Hey there!

It would have been better to mention her username in private to one of the Community Manangers ( @Laura or @Heather ).

I hope all gets sorted out! :)

Hi there!

Here is more information about listener rejections. We do not take them lightly. For confidentiality reasons, I am not able to discuss any particular user at this time. All users who experience a suspended account are encouraged to reach out to our team for an account review. If a listener is in good standing in the community, we are generally able to allow them back.

Thanks for understanding. I hope to hear from your listener soon.

I'm sorry @hugglecat, I know exactly how this feels from my own experience! Stellar listener, solid 7 Cups citizen, *poof* gone without warning.

There's nothing that can be done about your desire to talk to your listener right now, and there's no guarantee it will play out the same way for you, but I hope you get some comfort from how it went for me.

The first time (and I don't know this for a fact, this is my best reconstruction of what happened) my listener, who was also a moderator, may have been the victim of chatroom users filing reports against mods in retaliation for their enforcing the rules. Within I think 3 days the listener returned.

The second time there was apparently some kind of misunderstanding in a chat, and the listener chose simply to wait out the ban. What bothers me most, personally, is uncertainty - if I know that my listener is unavailable for some reason I understand, I'm not anxious. So what really helped a lot was that I encountered another banned listener who was on the site from another account (and therefore a less law-abiding user than my own listener!). This other banned listener shrugged off her own ban, saying it happens all the time and it's usually for 2 weeks. So at that point I marked my calendar and waited, and sure enough, after 2 weeks, they were back.

Now it stinks to need support and, for 2 weeks, not have available someone with whom you already have a rapport, who knows your personal story, etc. I've posted elsewhere, including in the thread @Laura suggested you read, about how I think the site needs to do a better job taking into account the member's experience in event of a listener's ban, so I won't repeat that here. All I can say is that I hope you find the support you need elsewhere, and that I empathize deeply with the distress I'm sure you feel right now!

:( i know the person will be back, it's just a bit ridiculous to have to wait all of these days when it's someone that's been on this site and supporting people (mostly me X_X) every single day for over half a year.

she doesn't have many reviews, so maybe part of the solution is to consider the number of chats & hearts & not just compare favorable vs unfavorable reviews. :x

because, i mean, i understand damage control is important in the case of misbehaving, but you also need to consider that this is literally a site for mentally ill people & sometimes they're a bit... crazy & quick to be upset & report a listener/member over nothing. i know it's happened to me.

mostly tbh it bothers me that i am a regular here & with her & my word isn't enough to sorta rush the process of getting her back. like, i understand punishment for possible misdeeds & i don't know the whole story, but i'm sure being banned at all was harrowing enough for her ;_;

aaaanyway i'll stop being a nuisance, since it's about time for my "my listener has gone to sleep" panic attack for the rest of the night, anyway x_x;

@hugglecat You can also try writing community@sevencupsoftea.com and put in a good word for your listener. I think that can help.

This is heartbreaking for me as I am currently a banned Listener - because a troll made up a story I am banned for an unknown amount of time. The response time from 7 Cups is pretty terrible... I've been waiting over a week just to get a chance to defend myself (the first two emails were form letters, nothing personal about them). I Listen to a member I am sure is feeling much like you are. :( 7Cups really needs to re-evaluate this process as banning people for no valid reason will tire out and drive away their best Listeners. I understand having to protect the community but in all honesty I think that's a total farce. There is tons of stuff going on here they can't control. People meeting in real life, listeners telling their problems to members, and the most serious of offenses in my mind, the giving of loads of advice (the number of times I've been asked by members or guests to give advice is astounding...and they leave the chat when I can't give them answers indicating they will find someone else who will). I think once my account is reinstated I will wrap up with my regulars and close my account. I really don't want to be a part of this kind of select policing. Also, the ethical questions keep growing in my mind...

*yawnles* just an uppydaet, muh listener wus banned ferevrars.

so, yeah. this accy is pretty much going to be retired now, too, because i can't go on it without wanting to cry =\

also idk it seems like they're tightening up on restrictions again? because i literally tried to say, "this sourdough is so good i wanna **** it" on my listener accy yesterday and i got a warning that someone had reported me for language which yeah that never happened.

apparently "text review" probably now just means that you tried to send a message that got caught by their filters, which they log. so be extra careful, lovelies, even when the member is someone you can be casual with! =x_x'=

@hugglecat How did you find out the ban was "forever?" Because I'm not aware of any "official" way to learn that...

@squib not that it's any of your business, but we had a fully anonymous emergency contact procedure because i once got a time out as a member for a false accusation. which is probably a very slight violation, yes, but hardly anything worth mentioning as it was clearly a necessary precaution... and if there was violation committed, it was only by me months prior to this issue. they are free to ban my member account over it--i don't care about it anymore.

(forgot i was logged into this one on app, whoops)

@hugglecat Thank you very much for this - it backs up an argument I've made before, that the non-transparent and sometimes capricious nature of the listener ban process creates a powerful incentive for the creation of off-site "emergency" communication channels - which 7 Cups makes every effort to discourage formally. I'm sure you are not the only member with such an arrangement, and that a large fraction of such arrangements simply would not exist were it not for the risk of losing contact with a trusted listener, for an unknown period of time, for no known reason and with no warning.

@practicalMaple7779 Interesting... Because I just got some random message in my email saying that I got a review that said I needed to "refrain from asking for personal information" on MY listeners account

could it be possible a troll reported me?

@practicalMaple7779

This kind of thing really scares me. It's never happened to me before, but I am an intern and if I were banned and it took awhile to get back, I'd probably fall really behind on my hours. :/

Since i came to this website!

@Benjy
please delete i mislicked!

@Benjy

Mislicked? Hahahah just kidding

Hey Kitty,

I can't really assist in this problem as this is out of my realm, but if you need someone to talk to -- even if it's casual -- I welcome you to message me. If not, I understand, but I figured a friendly welcoming wouldn't hurt.

I normally don't take listeners as I'm a moderator and mentor, but reading your post melted my heart. I truly hope the situation works out favorably for everyone. I'm a little jealous of your listener because I would want someone to care for my well-being!

Members* I need more coffee :(

@Ej no worries. i am very high maintenance and comfortable with very few people, but thanks for the offer. =\

I know the feeling.

I Want to know seeking help frm your members is something against the rules here. some listener did came and threatened to report me saying it is against rules and i should only use member account for that. So basically i create good relationships with my members. for some am their friend and for others a brother for me it is like a family only. As I am in a bad patch seeing that from my bio they all come and offered me. I know this is silly but the one who thretened ne was a senior listener only. so am bit worried. i have jut read ppl getting banned here for no reason. i do not want to be one among them. but ido sill stand by the thing i said to that kistener that i wil not care about the rules if i matter the happiness or relief of the members. i have given some of thm my ersona info becaue tey wanted to and me too believed it is only goona help. i do not want to banned because if that stupid argument. i wwnna know what others think abut this

@justanotherfool

Hi there - I think what your peers are hinting at is: Make sure to log into your member account when you need support. Listener account is for giving help, member account is for getting help.

:)

@Laura Wow! thanks laura for replying to my query. I just want to let you know that your videos about depression and all the was one of the many things that had helped me the first time I got here. But when I became a listener it was nothing but a self care thing for me. Listening to all made me help move on and get back up. Up all have ups a nd dons and i am going through a down patch which makes me feel impossible to listen to ppl. i had specifically told that in bio that I am in this bad patch and i am taking a break from All chats of 7cups. But some of the members were kind enough to see that and ask me that and wanted to help me. This is not at all a big thing and I was referring this in that listener support community. And I di told them that i do not care about that rule as whenever i use that member account it just makes me worse. A lot of negativity in that account for me. And I am sick of venting and venting and venting. I still take chats and PR even though I said that in my bio. It is just that i am nit frequent and i prefer to talk to the existing members. that does not mean I treat this site as any chatting site or anything. i do take the rules seriously but as guidelines only. I do not care much about my anonymity for that reason I did not find any problem in sharing my personal info or mail ids with some of them who asked for it. But one of the moderator had come to me and told me later that I am ot going to get banned or anything for that. It was after posting this.

And I do not want to blame the other listener also because she got a different idea from my queries. i had posted in help for achieve ur goals forum asking help for my exams, i just needed someone to motivate me. i had posted that via my member account only but sadly all the ones came to help were teen listeners and I was not able to Pm them because i am an adult student. So i was asking this query in that support forum about talking to teen listeners for help and there was it all started.

But still all I want to ask is it is good that there are rules and all ae good. But I do not understand this one you posted, pardon me if it is a mistake. i do not think that was a wrong thing that happened. Because I am not a professional or an expert in this psychology is not anything that I studied in school or college. Whether it be the member account or listener account Ups and Downs come to me but but as a member it is worse and I find it easier to talk with a member who knows all the things rather than a new listener. But sadly members cannot message with members. I do not even know how this became a big deal for someone enough to threaten to ban me. This listener account is much better than my member account. this has more positivity than my member account and sadly i am only going to continue the same as long as it makes me happy and I do not spoil others happiness. and Love you @Laura, a lot of posts and videos and things you shared in the past had helped a lot. I just wanted to appreciate that too now since you replied to my post.

@Laura sorry a lot of typos:)

Hi, I realised that you must be feeling very trapped. While I agree what you did was not right..I will also say, that considering the circumstances, it's not wrong either.

please try to talk to @laura or any ambassador about this

@dreamsallnight were you talking to me?

@dreamsallnight if it was i think all were mistaken. i am not picking general chats or using PRs to vent or ask help to them. It was the old members with whom i have chatted and all. So in the process of listening they wanted to know about the reason for me being diagnosed depression, so i will kind of explain to them And they do make follow ups and there is strong circle of friends, brothers and sisters here around 7cups and about most of them I only know the screen names. but it is stronger than the relationships i have in real life and which makes me feel loved. it is like justanotherfool is just a parallel life of me and probably that is not how it is for many of you. Amay be that is why they are not understanding me.

@Eunoia I have talked this with two or three mentors. And interestingly the first one was clearly biased. But luckily I had copied all the chats. And yes i was reported by her. Anyway I had sent the chats to those mentors and they did back me. The one who reported me was clearly not listening to me at all and I have had really bad experiences from that listener and their friends in Listener Support Room also. So I had discussed that with them too. But again, this was kind of a silly thing. I acted childish too like them. or may be I overthought that am gonna get banned for it. And to be honest Listener Support room really stinks now, But again it is not piece of cake so I think its better to leave all those stupid things for my good. And I just want to believe that the reporting thing that we get from Laura is just an automated thing. Anyway thanks for commenting.

@justanotherfool

I am sorry you had such an experience in the chat room and with the mentors. It's good that you discussed with them.

As I recall, I had the same trouble. We are very nice, I talked to one nice person, but the connection was broken, I was very upset, to be honest.