I need some clarity

@JustAnAutisticGoober

This comes from an atheist, former Christian, with all due respect to you and to your religion. I apologize for any inaccuracies.

In a religious perspective,

I am pretty sure that God made there only two genders to love eachother and breed.

One shall not turn against God's will as he knows what is best and made it purposefully this way. He made women to love men and men to love women.

Lust is a sin. Adultery is a sin. 

Sinning without remorse, guilt, trying to improve and repentance will make the sinner unable to be saved by God.

So for short, the religious answer is yes. You will end up in h3ll. Unless you change.

However,

God is greater and more merciful and more loving that our minds can comprehend. Jesus died on a cross for all mankind's sins. Including yours. Which means that you can be forgiven. And you will most likely go to heaven. Just try to be a good person.

From a non-religious perspective:

Your desires and needs, which stand to be natural and psychological, are desired to be met, by the instinct of survival. Refraining from fulfilling your desires and needs might be moral and appreciated, but that maybe won't contribute to your happiness. I suggest that you should go for the greatest happiness you can achieve. If this means going to heaven, with true belief that aligns to your values, then you shall refrain from such desires and instead focus on what God named right.

If, however, you don't believe in God truly, and it's mere social pressure to refrain, then satisfying the desires is the greatest happiness achievable. In this scenario, you shall go for your desires.

To make the decision, try to figure out if you believe in God or not by being honest with yourself. If you find that your religion doesn't fulfill you deeply anymore, that's alright.

Remember, you can always change your religion or go back to religion or become religious later in life. Be honest with yourself and find what aligns with your values, making your decisions based on that. 

Complete respect and support. Take care!

@JustAnAutisticGoober I offer you another opinion, David and Jonathan had a romatic relationship and David was God's chosen king of Israel.

Going to the lower realms is due to hatred and acting unethically.  A loving relationshipo between two people is a good thing in my way of thinking.

What you need to worry about is if the particular denomination of Christianity believes and accepts gay relationshipos. If not you could be ostracized and may have to find a more accepting denomination to practice in a church. You can always practice on your own as well.

I recommend going to GotQuestions.org for clarification on Bible passages on homosexuality, and that you keep praying that God would reveal His will for you. May your love for God be greater than your love for people. Wait for God to answer you before you act on your feelings.