How does one "self-love"
AmbivalentGrin
March 2nd, 2022
I'm new here, so forgive me if I'm dying this wrong.
I grew up genuinely happy up until high school when I started getting teased for not having a girlfriend. I've been striving to alleviate myself of that shame, to no avail, for at least 10years now. The concept of turning to oneself for love sounds like resignation and a method of propagating delusional thinking of said self. Clearly there's a big hurdle to get over within me, but I don't know how to start. Help?
ouiCherie
March 2nd, 2022
@AmbivalentGrin
Welcome to 7 Cups 😊 and don't worry, you're doing it right!
I get the picture. Only telling ourselves over and over that we love ourselves can feel like lying to ourselves. Or as you mentioned, seems delusional.
Action speaks louder than words 💙 First thing to build a genuine self-love is self-care.
How is your self-care routine? Self-care is include taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, socially, etc.
Which implement in healthy sleep pattern, healthy diet, take time to exercise, clean up nicely, clean up your living space, continue learning for self-improvement, take steps to heal and so on.
Sounds like a lot of work? Yes. But, similarly, if we tell someone, "I love you. But I don't wanna make much efforts for you. Just believe it." How does it sound?
Next is self-compassion. There are days that we don't have motivation. There are times that we don't feel like doing anything. There are moments when disappoint ourselves. On these times, practice self-compassion.
Perhaps, you can tap your shoulder lightly like an old caring friend, and say *it's okay... you're trying. Take your time. Breathe. Rest. You can try again tomorrow."
Then dig into yourself. What is hidden behind the shame? What are all the feelings the past event created? What false self-belief it created? And so on. In short, self-discovery.
The more you know yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses, your triggers, your boundaries, your core values, the easier we build self-respect, empathy for ourselves and appreciate our own efforts.
Hope it helps a bit 💜
2 replies
Thank you! You're right, it does sound like a lot of work. But the part you shared about 'loving someone, but not wanting to put in effort' is enlightening. Thank you again!
1 reply
ouiCherie
March 3rd, 2022
@AmbivalentGrin keep going. You can do it. I'm rooting for you! 💜
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