Why do I resort to doing this
when my husband of 9 years asked for a divorce, we had our issues and it wasnt perfect But I was obviously upset. The sadness and trying to get him to. Change his mind lasted about 3 weeks then I quickly turned to anger and said screw it. I joined dating sites and hooked up with several random people. I really didnt care, I thought if he didnt want me I would find as many men as I could that did want me. I went a little crazy so to speak and it was very out of character for me because i managed to be faithful to him during our 11 years together even though I never felt like he was attracted to me or that he loved me. Fast forward to now when I met a man 7 months ago but he made me change my ways I deleted all dating sites and wanted to pursue a relationship with him exclusively. (See my other post for more on this) but I fell in love hard for him just to discover recently he hasnt been faithful during our relationship we broke up and the first night that he left I found myself resorting to my previous ways i found myself surfing dating sites looking for a guy to meet..I looked up a guy I used to meet for sex and I want to his place, I couldnt do anything with him because I couldnt get my bf off my mind but the point is I knew what I was going there for and I thought it would help me get over him.. Why do I resort to doing this when Im hurt. I feel it has to do with rejection and abandonment issues I just dont know how to fix myself, or why I act this way. I
My wife told me about two months ago that she no longer loves me and wants to move half around the globe to be with another guy she found on Facebook. Since then I never slept more than three hours each night, my heart is racing constantly, I get panic and anxiety attacks, and crash into a sobbing mess.
A few days ago I got the idea to just move on and find a new mate. I've been through all dating sites and they all suck.So I go and delete all my profiles and figure I wait...just to start over next night when I wake up at 2AM. Got to talk to someone for a day and it was nice until the questions came about my mother's name and if I can buy her a gift card for online gaming....probably a 60 year old truck driver from New Jersey scamming people.
Last night I was at it again. Found a new site and got bombarded with messages from women from Thailand and Ukraine who think I'm hot stuff. So spent an hour cleaning up as much of my profiles as I could....just to stumble across another site and signing up.
I tell you that to show that when we are under stress and anxious we do dumb stuff over and over again. I never experiences so much emotional stress before, but your reaction is normal. We want so much to fix things and stop the hurting. Everyone tells me things will pass and that it will get better, but I lost faith. But there will be another day and another day and even right now, it does not hurt so much anymore despite my wife telling me that she is going to video chat with her new friend. It all still feels wrong.
Anyhow...sometimes it feels good to see that someone is interested in us, even if it is fake interest from randon dating site members. Just make sure that you stay safe. Already got enough issues to deal with. It is difficult, but maybe now is not the right time to look for a new soulmate, a person who treats us right, someone who wants to love us and not abuse us. Have patience....I try the same thing and I know it is so hard to do.