Trouble getting over my crush
So I've liked this guy for like a year now, and I know he doesn't like me back, but for osme reason I just cannot get over him. I think about him all the time and say I hate him, butI I always feel bad afterward. He literally doesn't care that I exist, so I don't know why its so hard for me to let go. I try to tell myself and others that I am over him, but everytime I see him it makes me want to cry. I think about him a lot, and whenever I see him in the hallways of school all I want is for him to even just look my way. I really wanted to become better friends with him, but he doesn't ever pay the slightest attention to me. I just don't get it. I guess maybe the false hopes I had when I first liekd him just rooted themsleves deep into my core or whatever but I hate it. I hate the amount of times I have cried because of him. I've looked up tips online on how to get over popel etc. etc... but so far it's only a little better. I don't know how I could ever like someone who would never like me back so much. I don't feel comfortable talking to my friends about it because I feel dumb thinking and talking about how much he has affected me. Anyway, if anyone has tips please help. I hate that I can't shake the overthinking and "what ifs" and at this point I'm a little desparate lmao
For a while,I din't think about him at all. Then I started having dreams with him in them again. idk if that sounds creepy. tonight, I decided to write him a letter (never intending to send it) because I thought that would help me gather my thoughts and whatever, but it just madea ll the feelings come back. and now i feel like crap bc again I'm crying over soemone that never liked me. he wasn't even a good friend. i wanted him to be but he never was. he never cared a winka bout my existence so I cannot comprehend why I still care about his. I regret every text i sent every time we talked. all of it. because it meant the world to me and nothing to him. I didn't want to bother my friends about this bc i'm embarrassed that he's still in my mind. i feel like this will never end and that i'm going to be tormented by this for longer than i can handle.
Proud to say that I am finally over him. I cut my own bangs and they turned out good, and it sort of renewed my self-confidence and helped me love myself, and once I liked myself more, I didn't think about him really anymore and just felt better. My friend and I were having a talk about living with no regrets, and I decided that maybe texting him one last time would help me "jump the last hurdle" so to speak, and after thinking it over a while, I decided to do it. I sent him a long text saying how I had felt and what I was feeling now and apologizing for awkward behavior and the things I regretted, and I was expecting something lame like just "ok" or "no worries'' but his response was actually really sweet and he was very nice about it, and it really helped. And now I can confidently say that I am finally, finally over him. Thanks for the support and advice! The two of you who responded to my posts really helped me through this :))
