Toxic Friendships | Advice?!

10 years is a long time. It could be any number of things. You may have simply outgrown her and this friendship. The both of you may have drifted apart. She may have become this way over time and you didn't notice until somthing happened, you grew to the point where you came to notice it, etc. Only you can decide what this is and you may not even know. And that's okay.

I was in a similar situation once with someone who could come across as super confident, knowledgable (and there was legitimate evidence that she really was/is) but she had a lot of insecurities and felt that if she didn't find the perfect relationship/marriage with someone who met a *very* defined set of paramters she was a failure (not true of course but she felt that way). She was never happy with herself and would use others to keep that at bay, to build up her confidence, to seek constant reassurance.

Like you I still question about how I handled it and whether I could have seen the signs sooner/differently. I don't know. But I do know that in the end we were no longer friends. Our friendship had run its course and while we both made mistakes in handling it, I also genuinly believe she's a user of people and still doesn't understand *why* she keeps losing them. Some peple never learn and your friend may be one of those.

Hope this helps.

@forcefulShade888

Hey there, hopefully you are doing wel. there's a few things i would like to point out;

Hey guys. If there‘s anyone out there who has experienced similar things and knows any advice, please share it. It would be really helpful because I don‘t know what to do. My best friend treats me like shit, she insults and judges me all the time and doesn‘t even give me a chance to defend my point of view. (This indicates you are dealing with a friend who is self-absorbed, negative and judgemental. Her behavior will usually make you feel small and its almost like an annihalation to who you are as a person because of the way she behave/says things. I belive she is highly insecure, will project her insecurities on you and will often feel like other people view are threat to her own ego so she will do/say things to prevent that) I get that best friends are supposed to do that, (A true friend will point out certain things in a kind, loving and sweet way while helping you grow as a person. They will encourage and love you unconditionally whether you do something bad or good. The way she is doing it comes across as rude and abusive) but she does it all the time and it hurts. (I would definetly feel hurt as well, this tells me she is not thinking about how it makes you feel, and she lacks empathy)She acts extremely confident, even arrogant, and feels like a total badass all the time. (I don't think she is a confident person at all... she is portraying on the outside, but in reality she behave that way to protect her fragile ego. She is projecting an image on the outside to not get hurt and to not come across as "weak" to other people. The reality is that she doesn't behave like a good friend or take your feelings into account) But I remember that one time when she was at my house and crying, she told me that she isn‘t as confident as she acts. (Thats like a role she is trying to portray on the outside, but it falls apart after awhile, and then she tries to play the same role again. People like her tend to have emotional issues and they try to surpress their own needs/feelings) I was always there for her and her self-esteem problems because I can relate to that. But lately, I can feel myself getting better. I‘m starting to like myself and she is getting even more arrogant. I‘m not sure but I think that maybe she‘s using me to increase her own confidence. (I get the feeling she treats you properly when she needs support from you, but when she doesn't is where she begins to do acting out and sabotaging behaviors) And it hurts like hell. This girl has been my best friend for ten years now and I‘m starting to hate her, which is terrible. (I could see why it would hurt you this much because you formed a bond with her and have beeen friends for 10 years. I sense that she did so many things to you and many times you kept it inside which turned into anger and after awhile it formed resentment towards her. I'm sensing you are the type of person who is terrified of standing up for yourself out of fear of her leaving your life or something else) Is she what‘s known as a ‚toxic person‘? (Yes) Or am I just overanalyzing again? (No you are not, i think that unconciously you don't feel good enough and probably don't feel like you deserve to be treated better. I'm starting to think that they are certain things she says/does that makes you feel confused about the situation. I don't think she is a good friend, and her issues will affect you as a person. I don't recommend being close to this person because your mental health, feelings, and self will always be hurt by her actions. You deserve to be treated better, don't settle for any mistreatment or disrespect from anyone)I don‘t trust my own feelings anymore. Please help me.