This really sucks

Dear @Smantz, first I want to thank you for sharing your story and I send you a big hug on hopes it will comfort you during this difficult time.
I think I may understand what you're going through and can also partially relate to what he is going through as well. I am a general physician and I've also struggled with my emotions throughout these past few years of pandemic. I cannot begin to grasp what exactly could be going through his mind but I can tell that at least from what I've seen in myself and in many of my colleagues and co-workers; we are facing so much pain on a daily basis that sometimes we disconnect from the world as a pre-emptive measure, to avoid future pain we choose to feel pain by cutting out other people from our lives. Either way I believe it is an individual path that everyone must go through alone, seeking help and trying to find better and healthier ways to deal with pain and loss is what we can do as we go through the hard times of our lives, it takes great courage such as yours to speak up about one's pain. Be strong and stand still during this painful moment, as you said he may come back, but weather he does or not, focus on becoming a stronger flower that blooms in struggle, if your relationship gets back to what it was you'll be stronger than ever and even if it doesn't, you will still be stronger than ever. Lots of love and keeping my prays up for you dear.

@Smantz Do you have other friends/family you can lean on for support? If not that's okay. There's a 1 on 1 chat that has people ready to listen and or help. You can get through this and look on the bright side at least it was amicable breakup. You guys are still on good terms which is good.