Need advice
So I've been seeing this man my sister introduced me to while I been going through a divorce, fast forward three years later and our relationship has had some of the most intense issues I have ever came across I no longer know how to cope within this relationship. There is love there still but a building resentment is starting to be present. It's like I know I am not receiving the same type of love I give and with everything that is happening with me personally I just don't know how to reach out to him for better support. Or if I even want to out of fear of him not actually listening but just constantly offering his opinion. I feel like I'm becoming trapped in what took me so long to get away from my ex with. I just need advice on how to better communicate. Thank you
@exuberantTriangle5006
Hi! Do you feel like you have fallen into a similar pattern/relationship as you had before? That is quite common, we tend to repeat the same patterns until we make changes.
It sounds like he gives you his opinions but isn't really listening to you, and/or you are not feeling heard. Is couples counselling a possibility for you? It can help you learn to communicate.
You can practise here also. What things would you like to say to him, or have him understand? 💛
No this is something new to me having someone who can give their opinion but not listen. I would like to try counseling but I doubt he will. I would like him to understand that my feelings whether he completely understands or not or have merit to him they are still my feelings. I want him to take what I say seriously and not always look for a way around what I say or become defensive. I think he needs to heal from his past relationship issues and stop reflecting other people behavior on to me. I just don't know how to communicate with him sometimes because things can become a screaming match or I completely shut down to avoid conflict with him.
@exuberantTriangle5006
If you have the means to get counseling, I recommend that you bring it up constructively with your SO. If he doesn't want to, that's OK, go yourself. You can talk to the therapist and get more information on how to communicate effectively with your SO or more if further help is needed.
