Need Help Repairing Our Connection
I've been in a relationship for 4 years. We've always had our share of arguments which either resulted in staying silent for a few days with still no solution to the issue.
I found out as of recently, she has been seeking attention elsewhere because I wasn't giving her the attention she needs. The attention was normal conversations, and nothing else she said when she realized what was being done, it got shut down
Since then, I have forgiven her but now the relationship is sinking. Everyday it is an argument about something so petty and pointless which has caused us where we are now.
I'm an overthinker and the slightest things done, I accuse her of which resulted with her becoming emotionally unavailable because she's tired of all the now accusations.
I have admitted having trust issues since then because with her seeking attention elsewhere, it really broke me in a million pieces.
I love her with everything in me and I want to make this relationship work.
Advice is needed on how to fix us, fix Myself and rebuild this spark we once had.
@braveDime2520
with listening to the position you are in , its looks like the silent treatment didnt work out , i have always believed that communication was the only way to resolve the misunderstandings , next time just ask her , how does she wishes for things to proceed , if it aligns with your thought process . you can decide then.
@braveDime2520
I think you are not alone ..... and while finding out that even basic conversation and attention was maybe subconsciously sought out..... she recognized it and Stopped.....
IMO too many people can not seem to realize that they are so lucky that their partner realized where something may have eventually led and changed course..........
instead like you describe .............it becomes jealousy or worried about "what ifs" .........then comes unfounded accusations and petty arguments ........ trying to punish them for the hurt you felt or still feel........
wake up ............................ see how close you may have come and they stopped ........
a good thing not "well you could have" so.......... i will try to make you feel bad about everything but in a passive way we will argue about small items and then i can throw it in your face that you spoke to someone.................. Perfect recipe for ending up alone