My complicated love life

Recently feelings for an ex have resurfaced (We stopped speaking 9 months ago). Though I don’t know exactly when they showed up I’ve only recently found them out. I do know for a fact that I love him, I dated him twice, once before he had transitioned (we only broke up because he didn’t want to have me by his side while he transitioned only for him to lose feelings for me) and then we got back together after a few months of talking again after he transitioned. After I found out I still loved him, and a friend telling me I should tell him I still had feelings for him, I reached out to him and he freaked out and told me to leave him alone. When we had broken up, it wasn’t our choice, it was because of our parents/family’s not supporting us and banning us from seeing each other (they didn’t want us together because he is trans and his family *father* doesn’t support him. Nor does my family, they said, and I quote, “I don’t want you going out with anyone who is allowing demons to walk all over them”). When I had reached out, he said he hated me, and when I asked why he refused to answer. I want to respect him and not reach out again, but the thought of me not knowing why he hates me is torturing me, and I still can’t seem to let go of my feelings for him. I sometimes find myself thinking about our old dates, I won’t even try and I’ll just start thinking about him. I want to talk to someone about this but everyone who knows him that I also know is transphobic and/or homophobic.