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Lying

Ponderwillow February 6th, 2017

How do I begin to rebuild my trust with my partner when they lied to me? They lied about failing out of school, and after 4 months of recovering from this and getting into a new program, they made a smaller lie about a single project in school. Yet, this lie seems nearly worse. How do I believe anything they say to me, just because they say? How do I ignore the compulsion and disrespectful impulse to "fact check" everything they say?

2
wonderousHeart14 February 6th, 2017

@Ponderwillow

This is hard, I've been there and I'm sorry you have to go through it. It's not easy. and the person that does the lying doesn't nearly understand the pain they cause us and how hard it is to rebuild trust. In my experience, my ex would just expect me to get over it and believe everything they say...but the resentment and the hurt is much worse than they can even comprehend. I hope you find a way to figure it out <3 You're not alone. Please feel free to message anytime!

2cupsofteaa February 6th, 2017

@Ponderwillow

This is a tough situation to be in for sure. It sounds like you're really trying hard to make this relationship work but can't help to not trust your significant partner when you have had a few bad encounters. A relationship needs two people to work, and so the biggest thing you can do right now is to confront your partner and express to them about your feelings. It's only natural to feel this way; nobody likes to be lied to, and hopefully your partner would understand where you're coming from.