It just made my abandonment issue worse

It was a 7 month relationship. Just thinking about it, I thought that I could try to fix the relationship. But he tried so hard to break it by simply hurting my feelings which impacted how I am today. The dry texting(quickly shrugged it off because that’s how ppl text?), the constant jokes that are hurtful, and the mixed feelings. He could’ve have said it when he was worrying that I find out? Truth is, I never find out of what he was worrying. But during that day, my stomach was aching so bad. My heart was racing and all I could think of is, “is he going to break up with me?”

and since that day, all my days feel like I’m on edge when I’m with him. However I just feel so happy being with him. It’s complicated. Then I talked about my problem, he reassures. “I won’t break up with you, if you won’t break up with me.” He said.

I remember vividly that seeing my friend’s screenshot of her and my ex’s convo and he said that he tried fixing the relationship. Just thinking about it, I didn’t see him even tried or communicate his issue with me. It felt like I did it(sorry that sounded selfish). I tried communicating him with my worries of why he’s so distant, what he doesn’t like of what I’m doing(maybe he was uncomfortable. I just had to know?), and a lot. It just hurts how he broke up with me the day after valentines. Just think about it:

*After school him and I spend time together by watching movies together, talk, and perhaps some cheesy stuff. “I want to hug you forever,” he said and he also said, “I’m such a lucky guy to have someone like you. I love you so much”

and after that day, he was a… different person. He was rude and makes rude comments about me. Then he said, “let’s break up. We can stay as friends,” and as a person who did actually wanna stay as friends. He just become a dickhead and was being rude to our friends and left. After him leaving, I learned WHY he wanted to break up with me. He wanted to break up with me because I was too immature apparently.