I don't know how to get past this feeling-
I feel so used and disrespected and taken for granted and taken advantage of and mooched off of. Im so mad and tired of it ut don't know what to say. His behavior has raised so much resentment in me and im losing resoect for him and he's emasculated himself in my eyes by not contributing and everything.
And now he's completely holding me back from being able to move anywhere because of his credit score, criminal record, and sort of job but had the audacity to blame it on me because i don't want the new landlords to be able to see in tiniir home from their living room. He doesn't want to stay there either!!! It is CRUNCH. We need 5i be gone TOMORROW but he is doing NOTHING to move the process forward. Just watching youtube videos saying he's looked everywhere. Meaning, its all on me. In the meantime, were in a hotel room that my dad is paying for. Loke everything.
Im so upset about it and i don't know how ti bring it up without sounding like q complete b word.
What do i do??
@NewAurora that's tough... it sounds like you're a solo fighter in life for the both of you most of the time.
The way to solve a problem can be different for everyone and each situation. What fit for one, may not fit for another. So here's some samples but you may have a better way 🤍
Perhaps by looking beyond the rope and finding the root of each problem you can find alternative solutions that fit you best.
An example of problem: he's lazy. But he's definitely has motivation to watch YouTube.
What is his motivation to watch YouTube all the time? Maybe if he's watching some funny videos the motive is relaxation? What made him need to relax when he's not physically do much? Is he secretly stressing out? And so on. Maybe you'll find a way to motivate him by knowing the root cause.
Next, maybe you can use the "I" statement in communicating your need e.g., "I'll feel so much helped, if you can handle a and b, while I'm handling c and d. Do you know how to do it?" Maybe he is secretly have fear of failure, fear of not able to do it correctly, and so on.
It's tough when you have to be the only grownup in the relationship. I hope things we'll get easier for you soon 🤍
