How to handle my relationship while clean
So I'm working on recovery from hard drug addiction. Today's about my 4th day clean after a 5 year addiction. (its progress)
I'm 21 and they guy I'm seeing is 27. (He doesn't use, so he doesn't understand how hard it can be to recover) I've been with him around 5 months or so?
I've never actually had a relationship without being on some sort of substances threw out it. And come to think of it, I've never even done physicall aspect of a realtionship while sober either. (Make out, ECT..)
I've had an issue of being in a troubling situation where things got out of my control, so I've always been on the semi-prude end, until being extremely comfortable with someone and even then sometimes I can't cope.
Since im not using in order to repress and numb myself, I'm worried that ill push my boyfriend away, or that I won't be able to handle certain situations in the relationship.
So basically I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how I can handle my relationship sober?
Thank you! xoxo
@xoNicholexo
HI Dear,
first of all congradulations for this amazing and brave step! This requires many strenghts that i am sure you own, from working many years in the feild i have come to experience how hard this is and the challenges are yet to come. So first thing i wanted to ask is if you are in any kind of support system - like twelve steps , therapy or any group ? Because it is hard to do this alone, and if there is support why use it , and you are - just like writing here !. Now regarding your question- you are pointing out something new that you are facing and this is to really develop deep intimacy ..as you described you never really let yourslf be in that position without numbing yourself ...i assume it is so hard to be fragile and exposed and prone to get hurt in a way feeling out of control...intimcay can be very scarying sometimes ..I feel that the key with your boyfreind would be to talk and share all the microfeelings, to get the validation you need and to take things slow , because you do not want to get to emotionally flooded right now , because you are learning a new emotional self regulation right now .... and little steps ,, and sensitivty will help you identify your feelings and help you stay connected .. a little bit like learning how to walk .....
