He wants to end IVF and to spend Christmas alone

@goldenDog39 this sucks! when spouses say this stuff to us it hurts. going through something similar I can't say there is anything that takes away the hurt, but do you have friends you con confide in? I've been leaning on friends and family hard right now as well as the good folks here. my only advice is to endure and visual a positive outcome, that's all there really is to do, right??

@Confused197

sure. He wanted me to give him legal advice straight away yesterday but I was overcoming the hurt. So now he's angry because we missed a deadline.

I haven't told a lot of friends we are doing IVF. Because I wanted it to be a surprise.

@goldenDog39

It sounds like your husband is depressed. Spending Christmas alone is a bad idea but let him have it. He will find out it's good or bad. IVF is hard work, love consuming and drain u emotionally and physically so I kind of gets where he come from but to say that casually to u is off. Selfish and inconsiderate. It's about going thru good and bad times together. Stay strong and show him u can do it without him. Hopefully he'll see sense and comes back to u all. Stay calm and shoulder on.

@UnwantedChick how do I do IVF without him?

@goldenDog39

Maybe take a break ? U can do ivf using sperm donor but I can tell u don't wanna do that so I don't know I'm afraid. I've never done ivf so I can't imagine how to sort it out. U got kids already? Maybe do a couple counselling session to figure things out? Do they have ivf couple counselling? I hope everything work out well for u in the end.

@UnwantedChick Couldnt have said it better!

@goldenDog39, sounds like what he said is causing you alot of pain, i would feel so hurt also if i was in your shoes.

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@goldenDog39 I'm surprised how nonchalantly a lot of the responses have been. IVF is a serious undertaking, and it worries me that he just casually says he wants to end it, without consulting you. And to be alone on an important holiday, without even you? Holidays are time to spend with loved ones.

It's not so much that he feels that way - sometimes we get down in the dumps or confused with life or stressed out, and that makes people say things they may not 100% mean. But to deal with it with such a casual tone makes me concerned. Have you guys considered meeting with a marriage/family therapist?