Feeling Pretty Doomed
You know that feeling like you have a bad feeling something is about to happen? I think we all know that feeling. That's how I feel about my marriage and life. I married a high-school friend after reuniting in college. I got a 4-year degree, got that first job, was laid off, went back to school, got a useless masters degree, and now as I work I'm going back to school to change careers into something more reliable and that I can do into old age because I'll never retire. My issues are that I still barely make ends meet. Financial strain, the costs of fertility treatment, the obliterated intimacy in my marriage, the fact that I have MDD, the fact that I don't find my wife attractive anymore, these are all starting to look like a recipe for disaster. I know that sometimes "when you're going through hell, keep on going" but the road is on fire, the car is on fire, I'm on fire, everything is on fire and I'm just looking around wondering if I'm driving in the right direction. I'm not brilliant but I'm not too stupid and stubborn to ask for directions. Does anyone have some directions?
@ordziw
Breathe
Breathe
and take another deep breath.
Life can be crazy and hard, but it is the one we got. Through all the fire and challenges, there are moments that belong only to you. I hear you and understand that the past few years have been a struggle on many fronts but more than anything, I hear that you haven't had a moment to catch your breath and just be. Sometimes when you run that hamster wheel you lose sight of the purpose why. Maybe take a moment to remember why you ever bothered. Once you find the reason, you'll know if the direction is the right one for you.
Much peace and love to you.