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Could use help

Scartissue54 February 3rd, 2022

Hey everyone so I'm new here, so hello! Now onto what I could use help with, my girlfriend and I have been having some big problems. I haven't been the best or most helpful when it comes to house hold tasks or communication or doing the little things. She feels like the relationship has flatlined and I haven't done much of anything to be present in it. I'm lost on how to correct my behavior or even what to do that I'm going to do my absolute best to not revert back to how I've been all while being more open about what I'm dealing with or what I feel might be lacking in our relationship. Any advice or help is beyond welcome

3
0m February 3rd, 2022

@Scartissue54

The positive part is that she's talking to you about what happened, whether that's the relationship flatline or her expectations or your active presence.

That is exactly the window for all the information you need to correct course if you wish. Talk about how things can be better for both of you and the relationship. See how much you want to change things and take it from there.

All the best!

1 reply
Scartissue54 OP February 3rd, 2022

Yeah I mean I see how I've been not contributing to the relationship growth and that's on me

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RomArt February 4th, 2022

If you really want to work on building your relationship with her you absolutely can.

A good starting point is checking in when you are both free. Ask her if anything is on her mind, ( about the relationship). Ask her to tell you what it is she needs from you. She might say something like I would really like it if you helped around the house more. Ask her to tell you what that would look like. Take the conversation from there. Remember non of us are mind readers. It doesn't work for her to have expectations of you without telling you. And it doesn't work for you to think you know what she needs. Find solutions that work for the both of you. This only happens when you both share your wants and needs. Seeing the other person wanting to take care of your needs is what brings us closer. Knowing they are there supporting us.