Beyond Angry

It has been a long road of healing since my father's death a few months ago. My mother and I have been there for each other and talked over everything under the sun. But now, less than half a year later, she wants to date again. At first, I was supportive. I even helped her think and talk through it, and I really meant that I was okay with it. What I didn't anticipate was that she would get exclusive with someone immediately. After decades of marriage, I thought she would be more cautious and try a few casual dates and see what the dating world is like now, carefully. That's what she said she wanted. Instead, she talks every day with a man she just met and says she wants to talk to no one else.

We have talked about our feelings over this and I have been honest, as has she. We have had good realizations and helpful points made on each side. But the decision she made is that nothing is going to change in her behavior. So, I have been working on my attitude and making some progress inwardly.

But I still feel a huge rage toward this man because he knows how recently my mother was widowed and immediately asked: 1) to be exclusive; 2) to talk every day; 3) if she would consider living with him in the future (after only knowing each other for 2.5 weeks). She won't see these points as problematic and we have talked through them fully, more than once. So, I have decided to step back and respect that she is making her own choices in her own life.

But I have rage, as I said, and I have no idea how to be okay with this.