Best friend is on dialysis and i am very worried about him and not sure what to think.
about 2 weeks ago my best friend called me to let me know he was in ICU his kidneys gave out and he had to go on emergency dialysis although upset by this (both him and i) he remained in okay headspace meaning he was just looking forward to going home and continuing treatments. (they told him most likely he will be on dialysis for the rest of his life unless he gets a transplant which he wont do from anyone living cause he does not want anyone risking surgery for him). He was released from hospital a week tomorrow and is meeting with his kidney doctor(s) before his treatment. However a few days ago he called me and said Bree I just want to let you know I am thinking of denying treatment cause i cant deal with the tiredness and brain fog. This of course sent me into a deep dark hole. I am doing my best to remain strong for him and told him to please wait till he meets with his doctor to maybe go over other types of dialysis before making the choice to go off it and well pass away. I want to go see him in person but he moved away from me a few years ago all the way across country (and if that was not bad enough his wife who i do talk to and am friendly with prefers I stay away and allow this to be family time). However like 3 days ago he did say he decided to stay on treatments that myself and his family mean to much to him to give up which made me happy to hear. However today he is back to saying how he does not know if he can take it any longer and has not talked to me much also said he is really depressed. I dont know what to say to him I just want him to get better at least as much as he can and would really love it if he would allow myself, his wife and his other friend to test our kidneys. The only light i see is tomorrow he sees his doctor and am hoping he will take my advice and ask him about other forms of dialysis. I just dont know what to do i have never been in a spot like this before. He was there with me every step of the way when i had thyroid cancer and i just want to return the favor for saving my life and feel so helpless i cant do anything.
@BreePix I hope he's alright, and glad that you're better as well
@Dan76 Thank you, I am doing ok health wise now (as far as my cancer goes) I am on lifelong hormone treatments (pills) which im not to happy with the side effects but it beats dieing a slow painful death. I am also working with my doctors to fix some of the issues the pills are causing (however doctors are unsure if anything will work). As for him he wrote me a hello this AM but thats it. his appointments are not till this afternoon though and I was just happy to even hear a hello from him. Its a long road ahead and all i can do is keep praying for better outcomes.
Honestly, bedside manner. Sweet talk him, tell him he is going to be better, tell him that its all going to be okay and that this is just going to be an experience for you in the future, etc.. my bedside manner is not very good as you can see but there are a lot of tips how to "lie" to a person jut to make them feel better and have hope, because in my opinion i think thats what he needs right now. He needs somebody lying to him that everything is going to be okay when it probably isnt if hes off the medication as you said he is. It doesnt matter if you believe in bedside manner, it matters that he believes it, because trust me.. when people are medically at their worst all they need is encouragement in that sort of way, and when that sets in their head as the truth they do wonders themselves. I hope he gets better, i really wholehartedly do. I hope you feel better about this too. Remind him what he has to live for and fight for.
@amusingPerson1811 He saw his doctor today before he started another round of dialysis they lowed his blood pressure meds by about half cause they saw his blood pressure has tanked since starting treatment (which is normal and his doctor admitted they should of lowered it before he left hospital). he is doing much better already has some energy back. so one step in the right direction now to just talk him into allowing a kidney transplant from one of his friends or wife. This is going to take some time i know cause he is afraid if he accepts from one of us it will accidently kill us (always risk with surgery) but as long as he stays on dialysis he can live many years if he takes care of what little function his kidneys have on their own.
@BreePix- Reassure him that his tiredness and brain fog are indicators of his renal failure, and should improve with dialysis. Then he should be in a more competent state of mind to make life decisions. So sweet of you to think of being a kidney transplantation donor. Ultimate gift. Hope you are feeling better today.
@barncat I am feeling a bit less worried about him since he has not talked about ending treatment in the last couple days and is happy his doctors are lowering his BP meds (big part of his tiredness could of been caused by that). He went to take a nap a few hours ago a bit worried but could be he is just resting. As for me offering my kidney and if not a match going on the exchange years ago when he lived near me i haf thyroid cancer and had to have my thyroid removed not the same thing i know but he was there for me for the year or so that it took for everything to get better for me (including a break up with my then bf cause i lost my sex drive) so i just want to make it up to him.