Advice about an
mangobrz
January 12th, 2020
I met this guy on a dating app two years ago. We hit it off instantly. He would text several times a day and we would meet for dinner multiple times a week for the first 2-3 weeks. Had interesting deep conversations and he was respectful and chivalrous. On the sixth or seventh time meeting, he took me to an expensive restaurant and over candlelight dinner, told me that he liked me. Everything was going well. But suddenly he started to become distant and wouldnt make an effort to talk as much. I tried to meet him but then I eventually gave up and we stopped talking. I moved to a different town because of work.
6-7 months after that, I reached out to him and asked to meet for coffee. We were only about an hour away from each other. We had a nice conversation and I asked him about his behavior. He said he was sorry and his change in behavior was because of a lot of stress from work at the time. I told him that I would want to give it another shot and we started texting a lot and talking a lot again. But he was always flaky in terms of meeting up. He kept saying that work is stressful because lots of changes were happening and he might lose what he had worked so hard for. I tried to tell him how I felt, that I felt I was bothering him, but we couldnt have a proper conversation. I got upset and told him that I couldnt do this and he can reach out later if he wants. We stopped talking again. The changes at work resulted in him having to move across the country and I thought that was that. This was about 9 months ago.
Then about 2 months ago, he reached out to me out of the blue. We had a good conversation. I thought that was it but soon we started talking again every day. Long deep conversations about different topics like what kind of person we want to end up with, our goals and aspirations, etc. He kept dropping hints throughout our conversations that he would be visiting in town for a day in January but never asked to meet up. When he went on vacation in December for two weeks, we had a break from talking to each other every day. At the beginning of January, two days before he was going to visit, he finally asked to meet up. I made last minute plans to travel 1-1.5 hrs to where he would be to see him in person. But then he cancelled last minute saying that he had work.
So now Im stuck. I really like this guy and think were compatible in the sense that we want the same things in life. But he seems to take two steps back every time I try to get to know him more. When I say Im interested in him, he says that he is interested in me too, but his actions dont show it. He has only been in one relationship before and says that he doesnt just date around for the sake of dating, so hard to say if he is a player.
Should I try to talk to him one final time and understand where he stands? Or should I just let things be the way they are and try hard to move on? I just want to know what hes thinking, and why he spends so much time talking to me if he is not interested.
healingWhisper
May 17th, 2020
@mangobrz thank you for sharing this. Hopefully you tried to talk to him and sort this situation and are now feeling better :)
