Unsure how to describe/label my sexuality
When I have new sexual partners I often have trouble telling them what I enjoy sexually.
This is mostly because - for me - I do not enjoy people using their hands or mouth to pleasure me because I find it very uncomfortable. I still enjoy physical pleasure that comes from, say, intercourse but I avoid orgasms in general. I do not masturbate because of this either.
I do enjoy pleasure and having people pleasure me in very emotionally intimate situations SOMETIMES. I have a partner who I am very close with and I would say about every 6 or 7 times we have sex I will ask him to do something for my pleasure. And only every so often will I actually want to orgasm from that stimulation.
I also often orgasm from preforming sexual acts on others and am okay with that despite my general aversion.
I consider myself a masochist and find pain very pleasureable, probably more than actual sexual pleasure.
Thoughts?
I've interviewed a number of people for articles at medibation.com and have come to three conclusions you may find helpful:
1. Everyone is different in their sexual interests. There's no need to be embarrassed because you aren't as interested in orgasms, or have specific tastes. For instance, I don't like oral, and don't even like intercourse that much. But I love manual stimulation - handjobs.
2. Many people who think they like orgasms find, sometimes after years, that they like snuggling even more.
3. Communication is the key, especially in matters of sexuality. It seems that people who let potential partners know early on exactly what they want and don't want end up with the most satisfactory relationsips. It has always amazed me the degree to which people will accommodate once they know exactly what you want.