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TW : Violent or Harmful Fetishes?

onmywaytosomethingbigger August 27th, 2018

A friend and I both have a blood kink, however I have a lot of kinks relating to violence such as gunplay, bdsm, s&m, knifeplay, and more. It didn't used to be so troublesome, it was mostly just an extra kick I would add to fantasies to help to get myself off quicker, but they've gotten more violent. I've been having a reaccuring fantasy of being shot in the head as a form of sexual release. I've also started feeling less and less fulfilled with non-violent kink or non-kink related fantasies, to the point where I will cry or shake because I can't get the release I want without wanting pain. I've also struggled with self harm in the past and I don't want any of this to be a form of relapse or another form of self harm that i'm not conciously aware of. Does anyone have any advice or have any knowledge on anything like this?

3
CinnamonPopCandy September 24th, 2018

@onmywaytosomethingbigger
Well, I'm no professional, but from what I do know, it requires active recovery.

I think the big thing is that you need is to get away from the negative kinks, and either keep away from the sex/masturbation or focus on tamer kinks, and finding a way to make them sexy again.

Obviously the big issue on why it gets worse is because you get numb to the feeling before, and need something intense again. Possibly more forbidden, or something stimulates the idea of lacking control.

Tbh, I'm not sure if pure vanilla will ever be sexy, but instead of imagining something violent, imagine some kind of complete scenario. Since I'm not you and don't the full situation, I don't know if this will sound inticing, but maybe to wheen you off of the more agressive kinks, you can think of darker scenarios/roleplays, but have them lead to tamer sex scenarios.

For instance, maybe you've entered a sketchy nightclub that is know for some of the less than pleasant things they do to people, specifically to people like you. You meet someone who is known to be one of the worst of the worst, and they want you. They take you back with them, and maybe handle you a bit rougher than a 'lover' should, but you can't help be excited about it.

This way, it's not exactly tame, it's a little bit spicy, but the actual sex is hot and dangerous without the actual danger?

I hope this wasn't too weird to read, or against any rules on this site. I was just sent this by a friend and wanted to try and help by giving some advice!