Sexual exploration or something else
When I was a child I used to experiment sexually with a family friend by playing doctor. Exploring gentials. I'm male she was female. As we grew older we had that connection and we started experimenting with oral sex and griding with our bottoms down mocking sexual acts. No penetration occured but was kinda sexual in nature. I never thought of this until a decade after it passed. We were two years apart and it lasted into our early teens. We were very close. I have spoke to her about this a couple times. She insists that we were just kids being kids. Didn't know any better. No bad feelings. Sometimes she said I may have pressured her some to participate but it's no big deal. She said it was mutual. Said there was no reason to worry or anything. Somehow I feel responsible because I was older. Is this activity normal among kids.
Exploring sexuality is not a bad thing. We are humans and sex is just one of the things we need (or not for some). The important thing is the context though. Is it done safely? Is it done mutually agreed upon?
Now, you have shared some thing about exploring sex at a young age. It was only human nature for you to do so. And it wouldn't be helpful if you blame yourself or others. Although, I'm not saying you are. But I have to ask, why did you engage into experimenting? I mean we are too bombarded with sex messages everywhere. It can make a child curious.
Yes I saw a lot of it on television or movies. There is a lot of websites that say this kind of stuff is considered abusive and it freaked me out. @Ryanallester
@Shelter48 I am an older adult and struggling with feeling of wanting to experiment with someone my own sex, even though I'm happily married. I feel like I must really be messed up!