Numb

At 28, I went on my first date seven weeks ago. I decided to do it and the circumstances of the date were really spontaneous and out of character for me. Things got very heated and suddenly he was all over me. It wasn't unexpected that we would get physical at some point, we had both been clear that we were attracted to each other. However, it was very fast and it confused the hell out of me. He checked in and before it went further, I had to ask him to stop. Our conversations disintegrated and I assumed he wasn't interested anymore. So I looked for other prospects but I couldn't get it out of my mind and stopped. So I asked him about it and he said he assumed I was seeing other people. We both made assumptions then, but I beat myself so much, overanalyzed and ruminated that it all tore into me, and I now realise it was because it was my first sexual encounter. But since then I've felt rejected and alienated from my body. My desires have been extinguished. And now I know I was just another bangable option for him but I also think I ruined any possibility with my miscommunication. I also know that it's largely my inexperience in all matters of relationship and sex, and I wonder all long the impact will last to make detached from myself.