Thank you both for responding. I agree that being comfortable with your partner in all aspects is crucial to having a satisfying relationship. And I guess thats particularly true when it comes to sex and intimacy. But when youre single and meeting new people, it seems that the level of comfort necessary for sex is something that is felt almost immediately, or never... At least that has typically been the case for me. And thats really where I think my problem is. Because im starting to think that the whole Madonna-Whore Complex is something that might apply to me (much to my dismay...). Perhaps not to the extreme extent its described as, but I've definitely noticed that the type of women I'm enamored by and who appeal to me in that idealized, "im in love" kind of way, are very different from the type of women who arouse in me the more primal desires that I think underpins the "passion" that we all seem to want and need in order to not "feel like somethings missing"...
I'm not saying the former's gotta be the embodiment of purity and wholesome goodness while the latter has to be a nymphomaniac. All I'm saying is that the typical qualities that I, and probably a good majority of men, value in a gf/wife are qualities that dont elicit lust in me, while the women who do are either unavailable, unwilling, or otherwise incompatible.
So i guess the million dollar question im asking is: how do I get over my issue/insecurities/hangups? Or is this a deeper, more complex psychological cognitive impairment that requires extensive professional therapy to fix...???