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So Ive never posted here before but something happened to me last night that has never happened before. My moms girlfriends brother who is in his 40s was talking to me last night. He has some missing teeth and a really bad accent so I have a hard time understanding him. I usually just nod and go along with whatever he is saying because I cant understand him. All of a sudden I hear him say technically we arent blood related so it wouldnt be incest. So I realized he has been asking to have sex with me for half an hour (Im 19 btw). I had heard him asking me what I thought and if I would ever see him the same way again before he said that. He also asked if I had ever thought about doing it with him. Through all of this Im just saying I dont know because Im freaking out and really dont want to be near him. As Im walking away he kept telling me that if I ever changed my mind to let him know. Im so repulsed and I dont know what to do. He lives directly next to me so I cant exactly avoid him. I cant stop thinking about it and I hate myself for not realizing sooner. I feel disgusting and I dont know why. Its not like anything has happened but I feel like Im just a sex object. Its really taken a hit on my already nonexistent self esteem. Any advice?
@TiredRaven
I think it's disgusting and totally inappropriate for him to do this to you, it is absolutely not your fault, and you didnt deserve to be put in this situation. You are now worrying about someone else actions, that is not fair, I urge you to tell your mom what's happened, he can not think this is ok, for him to act like that, he is an adult, and he must deal with the consequences of his actions, and not trap a young vulnerable innocent person into his sordid affairs. He took advantage of his responsibility, which was to walk you home, that's not right.
Tell your mom, dont let him pull yourself apart, end it and tell your mom. I hope your ok x
I'm so sorry, this must be so difficult to face, I completely understand if you're feeling overwhelmed and don't know what to do! Just remember none of this is your fault. Sometimes, the victims of this sort of behavior tend to blame themselves, but it's really not your fault, you couldn't do anything to prevent him from behaving like this.
In these cases, it's very important to reach for help. Tell your mother, make sure that at least someone you trust is aware of this and can help you dealing with this, as well as taking action to make sure he won't do anything like that again. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your mother, but I'm sure she's the best support you can look for in this case! And of course, you can also tell other adults in your family, and your friends, and whoever you feel could help you or would be a supportive presence. You have all the right to stand up for yourself, and to find support!
Stay strong. You can handle this!
@tiredRaven
oh dear! What a terribly uncomfortable situation for you to be in! I totally agree with the other advice given and I hope that things are sorted out in some way already. I just wanted to add that the message has to go back loud and clear to this man that you are not interested, will never be interested and will not change your mind! I hope your mother or mothers girlfriend has been able to deliver that message on your behalf and that it is well understood.
I am sure you have felt you never want to see this man again but if as you said, he lives close by, you will continue to feel this discomfort. One thing that may help clear the air in that case could be a meaningful apology and an assurance that it wont happen again. If he is a reasonable man and he is actually remorseful, then this may help clear the air and help everyone move on. I suggest such and apology should be given in the presence of a chaperone (eg. your mother) rather than alone.
Whether this advice is appropriate depends on the people involved but I do hope you can put this behind you and not have to worry about it any further.
