fed up with relationship complacency don't know if it will change
We've always had issues but I've always trusted that this person was put in my life for a reason.
for the better part of a year my partner got a job he ended up loathing. he's trying to find a job he enjoys but for now he's stuck with this one. he works a lot so I get that he is busy but he seems to put little effort in taking care of himself.
we started going to the gym together months ago and then he quit due to tiredness. when I met him he was fit and I thought it was a lifestyle. we met right before the pandemic so it of course affected everyone's active lifestyle. but after things started to come back to life he didn't seem too enthused about going to the gym.
he now makes no time for it and it just depresses me how he doesn't care about himself. I don't find him attractive like before and I feel a lot of the attraction and connection when we met must've just been based off of physicality or else I wouldn't feel this way now. just a combination of things such as how he can be testy and the arguments we've had all lead me to feel fed up. I just don't know if I should have faith that he's still young and he will get the job he wants which will just make him feel overall better about himself and thus take care of himself.
the only thing I'm leaning on is faith because as for now I don't find much interest in the relationship. it seems conditional like when we spend a month with my family I enjoy it more but when we're across the country just us it's like I feel I'm sacrificing too much, miss my family and all for something I'm not really enjoying. obviously if I were enjoying it it wouldn't feel like a sacrifice. It doesn't help our sex life has taken a toll as I recently had to stop a birth control method for the mean time and the change has put a damper on it. I'm not even really into it and the sex meant more to him so I feel like now that he doesn't even have that he's going to realize how there isn't much going on with us and we're hanging by a thread.
I've started having dreams about him in which I feel the spark and attraction I felt at the beginning, where I find him really attractive and even had a dream where he looked to be taking care of himself and I woke up feeling like maybe a few years in the future he will be that person again or even a better version and I shouldn't focus too much on the here and now.
Has anyone been in something where it was like this for a time but then years down the road or however long it changed or got better? or any feedback or experience?
