Toxic, But “Does Love Conquer All”?
Good morning everyone, my name is Nova. This is my first time here, very first thread 😇 I just recently broke up with my boyfriend, our entire relationship is best described as the most intense, compassionate and heart-tugging endeavors I have ever encountered in life. We are the perfect match, in both of our eyes, but the thing that has always stopped our progression, is the fact that he is a Narcissist. He actually carries MOST traits of the actual disorder. This, results/resulted in : walking on eggshells, doubt in my capabilities as a girlfriend, every single disagreement ending with me being wrong and him being right, belittling, lack of empathy.... the list goes on.... But the list of good qualities, is about the same length as well. It’s extremely contradictory and frustrating, He actually puts me on a high pedestal in his life, he instills life into me at times, he’s focuses on intimacy more then lust, handsome, can do anything he puts his mind to, I really love this boy a lot. I broke up with him, because this disorder clouds his better judgement, usually resulting in EXPLOSIVE arguments. The last incident was, he let me get behind the wheel drunk AND did not come and get me after being notified that I indeed hit 3 peoples cars already and I was in the car hysterical. He didn’t come get me? Because I fell asleep on him earlier that day (a reoccurring offense, mind you) After realizing that our arguments our spiraling deeper and deeper “to the point of no return”, I decided to finally initiate a breakup. But whenever we “try to breakup”, it results in us coming right back, because we love each-other so much and just can’t/don’t/won’t leave each other alone. I love him and I would love to be with him, but this disorder really makes it extremely hard to love that person, while also loving yourself. After breaking up with him, I changed everything.... he blew up everything all the way down to my emails. He finally convinced me to reply back, and I ended up telling him that we can get back together, once he/we individually go to therapy. Am i making the right decision? Should I try one last time, or should I continue to go through with my breakup?
I’m kinda of the same situation but my bf is stonewalling me. The idea of therapy or couples counseling did come up but he never took initiative. I’m worried about the accident - a bf who cares should show up for you in those cases but maybe he had a valid excuse ? I say if he agrees to work on himself by taking those steps and you really can’t imagine being with anyone else you may consider giving a chance. But if he doesn’t take those steps and doesn’t take initiative you know the best decision.