Thinking about my ex
This is probably nothing too abnormal, but I needed to get it of my chest. About a year ago I broke up with my long term boyfriend. It was mostly circumstantial, We were both going to be away for work for long periods and I couldn't deal with long distance. We went through a long and painful break up, but still ended up as friends, as we didn't want to lose one another completely. Now, a year later, I'm in a relationship with someone else and he is also dating again. But, my relationship is not going great at the moment and I've been doubting it for a while. Recently my ex and I met up (no wrong intentions, just as friends) after only having online contact for months and I realised how much I missed having him present in my life. I think the combination of seeing him and things not being great with my partner are causing these thoughts, but I'm questioning whether it was a mistake to end things. He has so many qualities that I'm constantly and actively missing I my current relationship. I keep thinking maybe it was the wrong timing, but it would probably still be the wrong timing right now. I want to be fair to both my ex and partner and get my feelings and thoughts in order, but I have no idea how one is supposed to deal with this..
@callmepien
I agree completely that this is natural. It makese sense - he is important to you, and that doesn't change. I still think of people who were important to me 20-30 years ago.
I know it's difficult, but probably for now you need to assess your current relationship on its own indepedent merits. You can't really compare it to the past, because the past is not an option, but you can learn from the past. You can say with your insgihts what you need more of now. That is viable and reasonable (although you probably don't want to frame it as "I want you to be like him" (smile)).
Prior person will always have a place in your heart, and that is natural and not something you need to change. You probably can't act on it unless it happens at some point in the future that you and he are both alone and interested. For now, you assess the current relationship and if you don't want to continue that, then you look to other futures.
There is no perfect mate, I promise you, and your future is bright and open.