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Should I end my relationship with my longtime ?

Derekfan7695 June 11th, 2021

I have known my friend for over 29 years. She has been there through thick and thin. We have always kept in touch by email, phone, or text. A few years my friend stopped responding to any forms of communication. I tried for a period of time, then stopped and took her contact info out of my phone. Approximately a year later I was driving down a very busy road in a city.. when all I receive a text message from a number that I did not recognize. The message said “ I have received all of your messages and I am very proud of you.” I pulled over and called the back. It was from my friend. The call went to voicemail. When I finally got to speak to three months later, she said her husband had passed away. I told her not do this again. I tried reaching out to her children on FB, I did not get a response. I thought she had passed away. Over the last few years she has been “hot and cold” with me. She says “She said she sees my texts and emails, but does not respond return the messages.” My friend told she would do that né again, however she didI am very confused and conflicted about what do in this situation. Why is she doing this and what should I address the issue??Any advice would be helpful.

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StMary June 17th, 2021

sounds tough im sorry to hearthat

1 reply
Derekfan7695 OP July 9th, 2021

I have also been under a “ gag order” for over 29 years too.. She also told me I need to respect her privacy and if see or talk anyone from my hometown, I am not disclose anything about her whereabouts or anything about her family.

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darkprincessoflife February 21st

@Derekfan7695 i think u should meet her in person and talk it through if not that then only one option *** for tat u also do what she is doing with u rest the choide is yours

1 reply
Derekfan7695 OP March 1st
@darkprincessoflife

TY for your support.. She lives in a different part of the country.. No where near me.. 

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It sounds like you are in a very difficult position. Like one part of you is trying to hold on and be loyal because of all the history you two have and the other part is hurt because of the disappointment or maybe even rejection/abandonment.


What I‘ve come to learn about friends is that sometimes the history you have with them doesn‘t pay for the future with them and that loyalty can cost much more of my well-being than it does good.


You seem to still care a lot about that friend and tried multiple times to get in touch with her. I don‘t know the whole story but it sounds like you did your part of reaching out. For a relationship to work it does need the both of you though. So the question you may have to ask yourself is: What do you gain/lose from holding on to/letting go of that friendship? How much more do you want to invest in it? How would you like the friendship to look like?