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Me and my husband has been almost married a year. I have told a few white lies and now have messed up his trust for me. Sometimes I lie because I'm scared he may be disappointed or to just make him happy. Idk why I can't stop and it's close to ending our marriage. I am a people pleaser and I feel as if I'm not good enough for him. How can I regain his trust in me and show him more appreciation? Any tips? Or any free therapy sessions would be appreciated!
@yellowKiwi23882
Little lies start so innocently.... just keeping the peace but they snowball and it gets easier with each lie....we tell ourselves "they don't know and maybe if they did it was small we can overcome" ..... the reality is it is not about the lie.... it is about the BS reasoning we use.... and the cover-up for past errors.
Example I asked my spouse to do something........ I have the text saying he was on it ... yet he NEVER did it ....I am disappointed not that he did not do it.......... Nope it was about him lying and placating me instead of telling me he did not have time or decided against it or whatever. It shows me great disrespect and he did not care about what i asked him....my request was not important ....... I see that when I look at him.
trust takes a long time to heal and even when close one slip and we reopen the wound....
As for appreciation it is easier then we think........ talk is cheap action is where it is .... doing something they never asked for but they needed done.... it is about saying something simple like "they make you smile " they inspire you.... in your case maybe tell him you "know lies were wrong but he makes you want to change and improve." then DO IT.