Partner talks about ex gf
When my boyfriend and I get into arguments he will bring up his ex at times. We are in a long distance relationship and when we fight we thinks I’m not putting home first or caring about his mental health. It frustrates me when he says that. Of course communication is key in distance which is a big issue for us right now. But when he feels like I’m not supporting him mentally, he will bring up his ex and say how she is more empathetic and understanding. How she would calm him and I don’t. This hurt me so much. Is this okay for boyfriends and girlfriends to do?? What does this mean? I keep thinking he likes her more and why compare me?
No that should not be happening constantly, I understand mayb a few times but once you tell him this hurts u he should stop. I assume you do care about his mental health so it just sounds like manipulation. I would talk to him about it in a calm way. Not ever disagreement has to turn into an argument
Thank you for replying. It was his first time mentioning to me that his ex was more empathetic and would calm him. Which is why it hurt like a stab to my chest. Before during arguments, he would sometimes compare me to her by saying how his relationship with his ex wasn’t as bad as ours (because of the constant fighting).
Well in that case I think you should talk to him about it and say how it hurts you when he compares u to her . Aside from that I would suggest honestly just trying not to fight as much. Like if its something small dont let it escalate, explain why ur upset,apologize , ect. Dont resort to like name calling and yelling
this is NOT ok to do. why is ur man thinking ab his ex whenever there’s a problem between the both of u?? if he wanted u to show more empathy then he could communicate to u ab it in a healthy way. there should be no reason for him to bring up an ex lover in the past. maybe u can leave, if it’s continuous. tell him to stop comparing u, and to bring it up in an much more healthy way. the way u both react and feel is completely valid but u should both be more respectful to each other during a difficult time. it’s you and ur s/o against the problem, not u against ur s/o.
