Not the 1
I am in a 21 year relationship. Recently my partner asked me to get married. I was excited I have waited this long. With the pandemic we decided to wait until the travel bans were lifted 8 months later I caught my partner cheating on me in our house in our bed. I feel like I am the most worthless, useless, stupid person alive. I saw a lot of the affair and it was disturbing. My therapist suggests EMDR to help with the visual images I have playing in my head 24/7. I am at a loss,life has no meaning anymore. My partner wants to work things out. But how do I get passed seeing this everyday. I was betrayed by the only person in the world I trusted. People keep telling me I have to forgive. I would like to forget. Most people use their imagination and I think it's easier to tell yourself it wasn't real. But how do you unsee what I saw? How do you move past seeing how easy it was for you to be thrown away.
First, you are not worthless. i am so sorry this happened to you, and i think it is great you are trying to work it out in therapy. ending a long term relationship is difficult, but if you feel like you can’t forgive your partner, then it may be the right thing to do. if you have close family or friends you are comfortable telling this to, then I would do that. Ultimately, I think you should ask yourself if you want to continue the relationship. If you do, then maybe go to couples therapy, and put in the work with your partner to move past this. If you don’t want to, that is perfectly valid. it isn’t fair to you or your partner to be in a relationship where the trust is gone and where there is resentment. All the best.
Hi nevermore I’m sorry for what you are going through after 21 years. I have been crying over spilt milk after just 12 years. I won’t lie it’s gonna be the toughest thing u ever do. Either way wether you choose to forgive or walk away. Both are hard. Being betrayed by the one you love the most is the worst thing. The one thing you keep repeating to itself is you are not worthless. The fault lies completely in ur partner. I was cheated on by my spouse after 12 years of marriage I found out 4 months back and I feel like a knife is stuck in my heart since then. You do not have to listen to what people say. This is the one thing you will have to decide on your own. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from ur close friends and family. Pls do connect with me. I promise you we will get through this
@Nevermore1845
heya! I'm really sorry to hear what you've been through and I know how hard it is since I've had something related to that, first off i know that, there’s no pain like the pain of having your man cheat on you There’s the sting of betrayal, the pain of heartbreak, the shattered hopes for the relationship, but as you've said he's really not the one you're not worthless you deserve so much better, I know it when you get mad when people just says that it's okay while nothing is, and it's okay not to be okay it's okay to be mad and hurt, you gotta let the pain all out you have to feel it in order to let it fade away, i know that now you're having a lack of trust sometimes it's not just for other people but for yourself, you are enough and more you are beloved and you deserve all of the love in the world, no matter how long it takes you no matter how painful it hurts you, you will find someone who's gonna treat you like a queen for the rest of your life, no one could ever steal the love you was born to find and I promise you that.. we're here for you.. mcuh of love.. <3