No Advice Needed, just something I'd like to Share

Hello there!

I'll be honest, I've never been in a relationship before. Not necessarily because I don't feel like I attract people or anything (in fact, I think I'm decently attractive☺️). It's just that I've never really found someone that I want to share my life with. I guess you can call me a perfectionist with high standards (me being the typical virgo that I am😅).

Being single never really bothered me before. In fact, I planned on staying single for life. But I guess ever since the pandemic happened along with lockdown, it ultimately led me deep down into my depression. And at first, I was still reluctant on entering a relationship. Now, however, I will admit that being in a relationship does sound pretty nice. It's nice to have someone who checks up on you, takes care of you when you're sick, someone to cuddle with during movie nights, and especially when I want to travel and go out! Being a homebody myself, I could actually benefit being with someone who is more outgoing and extroverted.

Me being a bisexual, somehow I ended up falling for my best friend. I can say it was a little unexpected, especially because she isn't someone I would usually go for. But I remember we got along so well in our first year of college (I'm currently doing my third year now), like when we met it was like a spark. I'll be honest, me genuinely getting along with someone I first met is not something I experience a lot, if ever. On top of that, we bump into each other so many times without actually making plans to meet up. I wouldn't have called her my best friend at the time.

Second year, however, that's when we got pretty close, even though we never actually met up in person (due to the pandemic). No, I didn't catch feelings at the time, but yes we did became very close.

Third year, I guess I can say that's how the feelings I'm having for her started developing. These emotions kind of crept on me, it wasn't so sudden. I realized this when I noticed how I always feel like I'm missing something whenever I'm not with her. Only to realize that I miss her every time I'm not with her.

It makes me sad though that she is currently in a relationship. Because I think I found someone who I can actually see myself growing old with. Except that she's gonna share her life with someone else.

However, she does seem happy with her boyfriend and because I love her so much, if it means me repressing my emotions while I'm around her and hopefully get rid of them for good. Just to save both our friendship and her relationship.

I'm not really looking for advice on how to deal with it. I just figured it would make me feel better sharing it. I'm sure it'd be relieving for others to know they're not the only ones experiencing unrequited love too.

So yeah, that's all I wanna share for now.

(I'm a listener btw, so if you ever need to talk, feel free to message me😊).