Making the same mistake
I’ve been with my partner for the last 8 years. The first 4 years were long distance except during the summers. We tried to move into a studio apartment together but struggled with communication. I moved away for a job and our relationship was back on track for a year. We then moved in together right before covid and with all the stress from that situation, our communication has weakened. Because of some traumatic events, I’ve become more insecure and I’m dealing with a good amount of anxiety and depression. I’ve had a pattern of defensiveness that stems from my insecurities and leaves my partner feeling unheard. It hurts terribly to know that I continue to mistreat my partner when I love them and want them to be heard. I’m afraid I’ve been reactive one too many times and he is ready to leave for good. I’ve meditated, journaled, uncovered the negative core beliefs I’ve been harboring and yet I’m still projecting and reacting instead of listening. How can I truly make these changes so I stop hurting my partner?
@fairmindedGrapes5035
Hi! It sounds like you have a good amount of self awareness about where the struggles are coming from? Are you able to talk about this stuff together?
Therapy/counselling helps a lot, for both of you separately and also couples counselling together. A relationship is a bit like a car, and needs regular servicing/checkups and repairs by a professional.
There are a lot of options these days, many counsellors/therapists work via online platforms, and there are charities and government options if you can't afford private. When you need support/help instantly there are many helplines/website chatlines available.
How are you doing now, have you found some other solutions? 💛
