I think I just care too much about him

I feel like the root of so many “struggles” or confusion I’ve felt recently is just caring too much about partner. I love him and if expresses concern or fear or disdain in something I want to do then I just nix the idea entirely. It’s like even though I tell myself I love him and won’t hurt him, I’m afraid I will so I just don’t do anything that could risk it?

Could be as simple as anything from texting a guy friend to going on a trip alone. If my bf shows any apprehension or just confusion towards why I would do it or discomfort I just figure “we’ll i guess I don’t need to text them/go on that trip/etc.” So I just nix the idea then I get depressed

I’ve seen him cry and be sad over past hurts and be scared that I could hurt him and that breaks my heart seeing him that way and I’m just afraid to do anything that even could make him worry even if in the end the experience could be used to prove our love or strength and make us stronger. In the past my late partner would be strong in my fear and instead of holding back use experiences to make us stronger (ie he traveled home to visit family by himself and even though I was sad he didn’t hold back; I learned to be stronger and it showed me the strength of our relationship). I need to channel his energy now but for whatever godforsaken reason I find it so difficult.